feels like my life is over
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feels like my life is over
| Sat, 09-29-2007 - 8:12pm |
we have been married for over 4 yrs & together 6 yrs. we have no kids.
| Sat, 09-29-2007 - 8:12pm |
we have been married for over 4 yrs & together 6 yrs. we have no kids.
goddess_boutiquegirl, It almost sounds like he is saying "look I don't feel the same way about you but I'm not going to tell you what or why?" Honestly, I'm not surprised that you're feeling crushed.
How would you both feel about counseling? At worst it can help you to both understand how the dynamics of your relationship have changed and there's a good chance that it may help both of you to overcome these current relationship issues. Let's face it, if you'd only been going out for a couple of weeks I'd say 'move on' but the fact that you've both been together in a loving relationship for some six years I think you both owe it to each other to get some outside help to find a way through this--a chance to grow.
John.
I'm new here too, but I can so relate to your story. In March my husband told me that he wasn't sure he loved me anymore. This was right after we returned from a wonderful winter vacation to Jamaica. I thought all had been well and there had been no signs of trouble. We were very happy (or at least I thought we were). All of our friends and family thought we were one of those matches made in heaven. We had tons of common interests, the same sense of humor, the same intellect, worked in similar fields, but yet we still had enough outside interests to keep our sanity. We started counseling and we seemed to be doing very well and our counselor thought things were going well so we were going to back off our every 2 week sessions to once a month or so. Then on September 10th he announced "I can't continue this way." I was shocked, frightened, and terribly upset. He moved out that night. He refuses to speak with me or to see me. We have been married 6 years and together for 8. Thankfully we don't have any children to pull into this mess. There is no other woman. He had a devastating childhood and I know he doesn't know how to cope with strong emotions other than anger. I think he has some mental issues that need to be worked through and possibly even has depression or bipolar (his mother is bipolar). He is in denial and tells everyone "I'm fine." Although everyone agrees that he's not fine. He filed for divorce an incredibly fast 11 days after he moved out. He did not respect my wish for time and a trial separation instead of going straight to divorce.
We too just bought a house (about 4 years ago now), we're doing well in our jobs and could finally afford to do some fun things. Things were getting comfortable and to a point we were enjoying what we worked so hard for. And now he's gone. I'm 36 and don't know many single people and don't want to be the tagalong with my married friends.
He has been my best friend and like what I've read out here and on other forums over and over again -- the one person that you used to rely on and lean on for support is the one causing all of the pain. It has been a month now and I have good days and very, very bad days. I don't have many friends as I am pretty independent and now I am regretting that. I only have a few people to rely on. I keep asking myself why I'm so down. I lived by myself and supported myself for years before I met my husband, why should this be so hard now.
I'm sorry this became a story about me, but what I'm saying is - I'm with you. I'm crushed too. I know so much of what you're going through. Know that you aren't alone. Relish the good days and don't dwell on the bad. I'm out here now because I've been having a bad day, but being here is helping. Yesterday was a good day. All I'm hoping for now is more good days than bad and I know it will happen. It will happen for you too.
{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}
To
God bless all of you truly.I am 41 and just got divorced. I was married 21 years, yes more than half my life. I feel like my divorce is a whole new beginning. I have become a better parent, feel confident standing alone on my own two feet for the first time, enjoying my freinds,
Wow, I feel your pain....Big hug...
Wondering what you did wrong, what went wrong and why you're where you are at this point is tough...it feels like you're grieving the loss of a loved one...
HUGS to you....hang in there - ok?
Oh do I know your pain miss goddess.
~beauty. grace. strength. wisdom. spirit. courage.