File harrassment charges against ex

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
File harrassment charges against ex
5
Mon, 04-02-2007 - 10:32am

We've been divorced 2 years and he's still harrassing me. This week he seemed to escalate calling me on Monday and Wednesday leaving me nasty messages on my VM accusing me of not doing anything for my kids. Monday he left VM saying I didn't give the kids lunch money. They get reduced fee lunches and I take care of it through the school so that I don't have to be around to hand out money on his days to have the kids. Then Wednesday I was home on a day off and my 14 year old wanted a ride home from his house. I told her that I was heading out for a run and she could wait or go ahead and walk home (it's less than a mile). He called me up and said I was too busy sitting on my fat a$$ to go get her. Sooooooooo not true.

Finally the straw that broke the camel's back was on Friday. I was out with my GF's helping her get ready for her wedding. He calls up and asks which of our kids I was taking to the wedding. I told him I wasn't taking them because it was his weekend and I didn't want to be driving back and forth between my friend's house and his getting the kids. It was a small wedding anyway and not many kids there. He started ordering me around saying I would have to call the sitter and let her know I wasn't coming to get our dd. That's complete BS because this was HIS night to have her and he always picks her up on HIS nights. He was home from work too so there shouldn't have been an issue.

I hung up on him after telling him to leave me alone. He called back 3 TIMES and I kept picking it up and hanging it up. I am so fed up with him calling me and being a complete a$$. I called the sheriff's department and filed a harrassment complaint. I haven't heard from him since. I am very worried about what nasty thing he'll do to retaliate, but am relieved he won't be calling me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2006
Mon, 04-02-2007 - 11:49am

is-
at least you can file a complaint. the police came to my house last night and said there wasn't a thing they could do to help me unless he harms me physically. so i guess when he runs me over or catches me on fire, then they'll step in.

what

what
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Mon, 04-02-2007 - 12:13pm
The officer told me that they would call him and give him a verbal warning and after that I would have to file a complaint with the court. I think having a police officer go to him and tell him to quit it will be enough. It's nothing threatening, but the petty tit-for-tat crap is ridiculous.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Wed, 04-04-2007 - 3:18pm

The phone has been blessedly quiet until today. My ex had the kids for his usual 5 day stretch and now I'm back to get them. I'm at the grocery store at 8:00 in the morning and my phone rings. It's the ex. He announces that I have to take our dd to the hospital for an x-ray because she fell off her skateboard.

I asked him when this happened and he said Saturday. It's now WEDNESDAY! He fricken waits until they come back to my house and leaves me to deal with it. I was so annoyed that I simply hung up on him. I finished my grocery shopping and called dd on her cell phone to get the scoop about what happened and what her symptoms were. She said that her father was coming to get her and take her to the doctor for an x-ray.

Luckily the x-ray didn't show a fracture!! But honestly, how ridiculous to wait 4 days for an x-ray because he didn't want to be bothered. There's no excuse!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
Wed, 04-04-2007 - 4:47pm

Hi..

Just HAD to chime in on this one. My 1st husband has done this to me more times than i can count. He only has them every other weekend. Picks them up on a Fri and brings them home on sun night. He has done it to my youngest son twice (both times with fractures, once a finger and once a wrist) and my other son he did it once with a broken bone (hand) and the other time they were skiing and my DS fell and hit a grinding rail and was knocked out. The patrol brought him down off the MT.. my H takes him to McDonalds and then home to me at 10:00 at night. then says maybe you should have that checked. What a total jerk!!! The broken bones were pretty obvious but he didn't want to be bothered taking them to the doctor. The absolute best one was about 5 years ago mykids were playing at his house. My daughter and my youngest ended up getting bit by a stray mother cat. My daughter who was about 15 and my son who was about 8 at the time. My daughter called to tell me and said the bites were really bleeding and what should they do. I told her to put her dad on the phone and told him to get them up to the emergency clinic (my doc has saturday morning hours) and have them checked and cleaned out. The cat could have rabies etc. I had just come home from the hospital 4 days before this after having my lung removed due to cancer. He said yea.. He brought them home Sunday night and I asked him what happened.. he didn't FEEL like taking them to the doctor.. I was furious so I had to take them on Monday. Naturally they told me I had to find the cat or they would need the rabies shots. So I call my H and tell his to go to this house (about 4 houses down from him) and watch for the cat and try to catch it or something. He didn't want to.. so here I am with all these stitches my chest trying to sleep in a car and watch for a stray cat to catch so my kids don't have to endure rabies shots.

Never found the cat and they had to have the shots. I complained to my attorney and even the doctor about his lack of parenting and tried to get his visitation limited or revoked but they pretty much said yes, it's terrible but there are so many fathers that are worse and they still get their kids. The court won't do anything about it unless HE'S the one causing the injurys.

I guess I just wanted you to know your not alone. I feel for you, I know how scary it is knowing these "dads" care so little about there own kids.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Fri, 04-06-2007 - 10:56am
Yeah my ex just doesn't seem to "get it". He'll have the kids for a five day stretch and all of a sudden he's telling me he needs childsupport because he's doing "it all". He doesn't even consider that when I have them I'm doing "it all" too. It's a lot of work having the kids and things come up and have to be dealt with. Sometimes it falls on his days sometimes mine. I do my fair share as well. The last three school dances fell on my days so it was up to me to shell out the money and to help carpool and I've been responsible for taking them to the dentist and paying for stuff that comes up at the school because it was needed on "my days". He just refuses to see both sides of it. Any extra he has to do all of a sudden becomes this big huge deal. Just beyond frustrating to me because that was a big issue in our marriage. He only does the bare minimum to get by.