FILLED WITH HATRED!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2007
FILLED WITH HATRED!!!!!
8
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 4:12pm

In my last post I said that I wasn't going to contact my x or his new gf anymore (she was threatening to file harrassment charges on me)


I have completely stopped calling them both. I made up my mind that any contact on my part makes them think I still give a sh&*.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 11:13pm

I wouldn't have said ANYTHING to EX, but would have talked to my kids (if they mentioned it to me... knowing... and how they felt about it) and talked to them about how they could share how they are feeling with their dad.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2001
Fri, 08-15-2008 - 7:55am

I agree with wild!

~calla~  mom to rosie and gracie

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2008
Fri, 08-15-2008 - 12:18pm
I agree it's best not to have any contact with him but I tend to react the same way you did.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2008
Sat, 08-16-2008 - 6:06am

In your shoes, I probably would have focused on doing something special with the kids.


Hatred of your X is

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2008
Sat, 08-23-2008 - 2:15am

i know how it feels cause that's exactly how i feel when he has time

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2008
Sat, 08-23-2008 - 7:28am

OBX820 said, "I have not done anything to turn them against him - he did that himself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2003
Sat, 08-30-2008 - 3:47pm

Oh boy can I relate to this thread.


My three kids were 12, 14, 16 when my h of 22 years left one day, to live with his 20 year younger coworker in her beachhouse. Since then he brags about his trips, money, toys, and then tells them he can't help with their tuition because he's broke. He rambles on and has no care about their lives, cuts them down, blames me for alienating them (I was also always there, they hated him for leaving the way he did... he never said sorry or tried to patch things up or spend time with them, just mirrored the anger back at them, and blamed them for the animosity).


There is NO communication because he hates ME so much, lol, for not being happy for him and the love of his life. And guess what? not only do we live in a small town, we ALL work at the same hospital.


You would think, that a couple who did that, would leave, with some grace and dignity but NO.


I still hate him everytime he's mean to my children (gave my 20 year old daughter a jar of quarters and a subway lunch for her bday)... he hurts them over and over again. They dread calling him. They blame me for marrying him. Our family is so broken, all because he had to run away with this woman who now five years later says she is engaged to him... that for the first two years they were purely friends... it's too bizarre to even type.


I harbor bitter pain, distrust, disappointment, for my children. I doubt he'd even care if he knew how much he's hurt them. He'd say it's their problem. He used to grab me by the arm and hurt me... I'd say ouch and he'd say "I didn't hurt you!!!"


I was 19 when I married him and really really truely believed he'd stick by his family and do the right thing, I never doubted it. I am still shocked and hurt 5 years later, mostly because I keep seeing them and hearing about how happy they are with their new dogs, vacations, investments, parties.


Ick. Thank God I have my mom and dad, they've been there since the breakup and I'd probably be dead or in the nuthouse if it weren't for them.


When someone hurts my kids, it's horrible. When it's their own father doing it repeatedly, it's as painful as acid on my heart.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2005
Sun, 08-31-2008 - 2:33am
I agree with the pp's, focus all your energy on your kids.
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