Finally cutting off all communication

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Finally cutting off all communication
30
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 6:24pm

I just love this song...I have tried to be a good person and handle the split with H nicely and respectfully..but he is not having it...he is cold, cruel and frankly he is just a bridge burner....I found out today that 6 year old asked him about gf that spent the night at his house when they stayed and his reply was.....I do not even know how long she will be here...way to teach a child how disposable people are ...I am cutting off all contact him,unless there is a parenting major issue.....other than that, if he calls , when the phone is answered, I am just going to have our son answer.....I can not drag myself down with him and argue with him anymore...the pain has just been too much to bear....there is nothing left to talk about anymore ever again.....I dedicate this song to him......

You'll Think Of Me

I woke up early this morning around 4am
With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake
Ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms
I've been tryin' my best to get along
But that's OK
There's nothing left to say, but

Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me

I went out driving trying to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this
And all the baggage that seems to still exist
It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
Is not knowing what we could have been
What we should have been

So
Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me

Someday I'm gonna run across your mind
Don't worry, I'll be fine
I'm gonna be alright
While you're sleeping with your pride
Wishing I could hold you tight
I'll be over you
And on with my life

So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me
So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and all your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we got nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me, yeah
And you're gonna think of me
Oh someday baby, someday

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2003
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 10:22pm
Good for you, Hannah. With him taking up less space in your life, there's more room for you. Hugs.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2004
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 12:06am

Sorry,

I don't agree with having your 6 year old end up in the middle of an adult situation, unless you have another son who is perhaps in his teens and understands what's going on. You've got a long time to have to deal with the father of your child. All you can do is be the rock and a shining example.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 7:17am
I love that song!..... And, unless I have something specifically to talk to my EX about, still, when he calls, if the kids are here, I tell them to answer the phone :-)

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 9:54am
EXCUSE ME!! Having my 6 year old answer the phone to talk to his father is not putting him in the middle at all....THAT IS THE REASON HIS FATHER IS supposed TO BE CALLING, BUT INSTEAD HE USES THAT TIME TO HARRASS AND TERRORIZE ME.......Frankly, I think it is the better solution then me having to take the emotional abuse that he dishes out usually about 4 or 5 times a day on the phone.......I would much rather not have any contact with him and be happy then have my child watch me be in distress daily b/c his father can not control his behavior....I have been NOTHING BUT KIND AND BENT OVER BACKWARDS to try and make our split amicable and friendly and his father will not allow it to happen.......I am tired of bending over and holding my ankles daily for his father to have some cruel entertainment and It makes me angrier than h*ll that you would say that letting my child answer the phone to talk to his father is putting him in the middle!!!Arguing with his father and putting him thru any more of this crap would be putting him in the middle...This Board is for people to get support not to come and get more criticisism and abuse than they are already taking.........I suggest if you can not be supportive to not post..........
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 10:13am

GOOD FOR YOU.

That song is great. I will use that myself. As far as the ex goes and the children, that will be a bit harder to deal with. For me right now ive been able to be free of him totally b/c he's being a real jerk and doesnt want to see our son. I know it wont last forever and I will have to deal with him again, so Im getting prepared. You will have to do the same. I do agree with no contact with him unless there is a major parenting issue to discuss and if he does call and you know its him I think its fine that your son answers b/c after all he is calling to talk to him. Just be prepared that he may ask to speak to you.

I know it's not fair but more times than none, we have to be the one's to be civil because they are so immature. So hold your head up, and just keep it as short and to the point as possible. With my ex he did all he could to push my buttons and I fell for it everytime. Whenever he saw me getting some strength and putting some distance between us he would become this "nice caring" guy again and as soon as he got what wanted he went back to the nasty S.O.B he really is. I finally caught on and put my foot down and when I did, and he saw he couldnt have his way with me anymore, he walked away from our son.

Do I feel sorry for him when and if he finally wakes up. Our son will know what a jerk his dad was.

Your doing good honey.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2004
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 10:15am

My now ex-H left my 5 year old son and I one day, took his clothes and didn't say a thing. He had gotten the OW pregnant and went right to her home to live with her. No one has a corner on pain and anger. All I will say is my prayers are with you and your son, but eventually you will have to deal with the father of your child as he grows into an adult.

I have never violated the terms of service and will continue to post - support comes in many different forms.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 10:24am
What you are doing is not support..........DO NOT pOST TO ME ANYMORE........I REFUSE TO GET KICKED WHILE I AM DOWN ANYMORE..........I am at bottom and anything negative DOES NOT help.............I have dealt with his father and taken more than any person needs to take........to this day, I still have not yelled at him or even been mean to him.........He takes advantage of me being the better person....He had several affairs, mentally and emotionally abused me and now has finally left to be with the waitress/massage therapist of his dreams...You may want to think twice about posting such negative comments to people when they are at bottom....But I am sure from the attitude in your posting you wont........
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2005
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 11:42am

I agree with Ivebeenaround the block. It is not healthy for a young child such as your son to have to parlay information back and forth between his parents. It is not his responsibility and frankly is overly stressing to a child. He loves both of you. Yes, if your ex is calling just to talk to the boy, then so be it, but if there is a decision to be made whether its about visitation or holidays or whatever else may come up in the adult world, YOU need to deal with it.

It is understandable that you are hurting. But you have to be a grown up about it and not pass that responsibility on to your son.

I also think that just because you didn't hear what you wanted, you should not attack the people trying to help you realize what mistakes you may be making. They are very wise women here. You would do well to head their advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 11:49am
Frankly everyone has taken my post out of context here...........He never calls to talk about parenting issues....he calls to ridicule and harrass me........what is the problem with having his son answer the phone so I do not have to deal with this......If he handed me the phone I would take it and deal with it,but my feeling is that this is a better way to avoid the situation all together and get him to talk to his son.......I am very upset b/c I feel like I have been attacked and ridiculed from you all for trying to find a good solution to the situation....I have never been a bad mother.......I was never a bad wife....I can not handle being attacked daily anymore........and I wont be ganged up on here either..........
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2005
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 11:54am

There are other ways to end your ex's harassment. If he is threatening you or harassing you, you should call the police. File a report with them and the telephone company. Don't let him continue to victimize you.

If I misuderstood your post, then I apologize, but putting children in the middle of adult situations is something that I feel very strongly about.

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