Is This finally it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2007
Is This finally it?
1
Sun, 08-26-2007 - 4:32pm
Mine is a long story .20 years long My husband and I have been together 20 yrs He is an Alcoholic .Every couple of yrs he goes on a drinking binge and decides he doesn't want to be married any more. Then he gets in trouble and needs me and we will get back together he will stay sober for awhile and everything is fine.He is currently on one of those binges.And Im really feeling over all of it this time.Im not sure I can do this anymore.
I have done alot of things differently this time.I took his truck away He has 4 DUIs and the truck is in my name.He got some cloths and left.He is such a good man when he is sober one of the best.I dont call him or text Im trying to have as little contact as possible.He has been begging for the truck back. He wants to borrow my couch for a week so he can try and get into a sober house.He text me at work and said if he stays on the couch and dont drink can he have his truck .Then shows up here to talk about it with a 6 pack.He has borrowed money from me and not paid me back even though he makes exactly twice as much as I do.He has hurt me many times over the yrs But yesterday he Directly hurt one of our grown sons for the 1st time ever.He told our sons ex some lies that caused alot of stuff and of course he is in hiding.I dont miss him like I usually do. Im very worried about him he is in a really bad place. Here is my problem I know he will be back but what if I dont want him back.He will beg and plead and promise.He has no one else. Not a soul! Parents are dead ,oldest brother is dead of an overdose 2 other brothers are in the wind.He is on community corrections and has to report once a week.If he gets another PI or DUI he goes to prison for up to 20 yrs.I just dont know how to deal with this.I still care about this man a great deal.I dont want anything to happen to him.I need strength.Thanks for letting me ramble
Ann
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2005
Mon, 08-27-2007 - 2:45am
Hi Ann, so sorry you're going through this. Living with a drinker is very difficult. My Dad was one. I wouldn't give him the truck, no matter what, someone else besides him can get hurt. Not to mention the chance of him maybe going to prison if he gets another DUI. My Dad was sober for 13 years before he died, on his way to an AA meeting no less. If your H has a history of making promises he doesn't keep, I would give him the sofa, tell him to stay out until he really proves that he's a changed man, and that he is sober. I know how hard it is to be supportive of a drinker, I supported my Dad while he was battling his problem. I don't regret it, and my Dad was a much better man when he was sober. I had 13 years with him. He would say that he wanted to make it up to all of us for all the bad things he did while he was drunk, I told him he didn't have anything to make up to me for, "just stay sober Daddy", thats all I asked of him. Your H should go on some Meds for the bipolar after he stops drinking. I tried Al-non, it wasn't for me. I'm sure its a wonderful group, just not the kind of group for me. I am a firm believer in giving the benefit of the doubt to people, giving chances, I'm a firm beleiver in not giving up on people, especially family. I wish you all the luck and all the best. It's a tough rode to sobriety, whether you're the drinker or the family. Keep tabs on the amount of money you've lent him too. Protect yourself at all costs.