Finally, its over!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2005
Finally, its over!!
4
Wed, 01-18-2006 - 5:00pm
Hello all....havent written in a while. I've been busy with work, the kids, and preparing myself for this divorce hearing. Thank goodness it is finally over! I was so nervous but it really wasnt to bad. I was happy with the way that the judge ruled except for the fact that he did award HIM 50% of the equity from the sale of the house! Believe me he does not deserve it. Just a recap..... he has not paid a house payment or utility bill since he left the house in Aug.....I've had use my 401K to keep the house up not to mention our Avalanche payment.....he's probably only given me $800 for 3 kids since Aug.....and the judge still awarded him that! Besides that we pretty much agreed on everything else so our divorce was final then (Jan. 13th) He was only seeing the kids every other weekend now we have a 5/2 schedule. Thats one week he has them for 5 days, the next week I have them 5, then he has them 2, then I have them 2. I'm glad about that because I needed a break. He should also have to share the responsibility of getting them to day care and to school on time and still make it to work! He was also ordered to pay $700 child support with the first payment starting in February. It would of been more for 3 kids but since we are sharing time with the kids 50% they ordered that amount. Also our house needs work done.....recap.....he took our insurance money and spent it instead of fixing the house....so the court orderd that he pay for it out of his pocket. Even though I have to share the equity with him I feel its still a victory!! I finally have no marriage ties to a man who is not worth S**t! I made it!!! I held the household down, I was responsible enough to care for the kids, I work full time, and I'm OKAY!! When he first left I use to sit outside the whole night (from 9 or 10 pm until 3 or 4 am) just crying and smoking like a train!! I use to be so hurt so afraid!! I feel so good about myself! Yeah it still hurts that my family wasnt able to stay together and I feel bad for my kids that they have to go through all of this but I cant help but feel happy!! With the help of the Lord, friends, and my family I made it. I walked out of that court house with my head up. Just like I told him I would. I realize that what he did to me and the kids was wrong it was nothing that we deserved and I realize that he is the type of man that is not worth me crying over anymore! And with all that said I still have to smile and wish HIM the best in life and whatever he decides to do and who to do it with. And even though this was the hardest experience I've had to deal with I also have to THANK him for putting me through it. It taught me alot about him and myself. I proved to myself that I could hold it all down and still be a good mom! With me being able to forgive him and wish him well I know that I to will be blessed many times over. But of coarse, I can forgive but never forget!!! To all you women who are reading this and wondering how your gonna make it or even if you are able to. YOU WILL MAKE IT..... YOU AND YOUR KIDS WILL BE OKAY!!! BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, DONT BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP.....AND NO MATTER WHAT A JERK YOUR SOON TO BE X IS ALWAYS PUT YOUR KIDS FIRST..... it will all pay off in the end!! Good luck to all of you!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 01-18-2006 - 5:12pm
Congratulations.... you sound like you've come a long way.... good for you!


Karen ~ wildlucky4me


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2004
Wed, 01-18-2006 - 5:37pm
This is EXACTLY what I needed today......thank-you and congrats for coming out on the other side in one piece! :o) *hugs*
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2006
Wed, 01-18-2006 - 6:25pm
I am very happy for you. Your story has giving me a lot of hope! Thank you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Wed, 01-18-2006 - 7:49pm
Yay! You did it! It's been a long, hard road, but you managed to come out on the other side better than ever. You are victorious :)