Finances, does it ever get better?
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Finances, does it ever get better?
| Wed, 07-06-2005 - 1:53pm |
Hello everyone,
I hope that you are all doing well. I have been coming here off and on since my divorce a few months ago. I don't miss him at all but he left me in such a hole financially and I just don't think I can take one more thing. I have two kids and we have been struggling to make it for all this time. It's killing me. Today the stupid bank put thru a 1000 payment they weren't supposed to so now I have absolutely no money until a week from Friday. It's awful and so humiliating not to be able to to pay things. I have been to an attorney to file chapter 13 but she's dragging her feet. I would appreciate a few prayers. I really need them. Thanks so much....sunshine

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Sunshine,
I know exactly what you're going through, because I'm going through the same thing.
I trusted him to pay our bills, but instead he went through everything and maxed out the credit cards. My 2 kids and I are surviving on my income, because he won't pay CS. I can't claim bankruptcy, because the money from the sale of the house is sitting in an account until the divorce is finalized. Collectors are standing in line waiting to garnish my wages. As soon as one is paid up, the next one pursues me.
I wish I could offer some advice or something to help you feel better.
My heart goes out to you.
(((HUGS)))
I wish I could tell you it does get better but I just don't know.
It is what you make it to be.... I used to stress A LOT about money but if you can't pay it, you can't pay it... nothing you can do. I accept that now and I don't worry about it.
Hugs to you and I am sending prayers, vibes and all sorts of things your way :)
Angelena
This is my question too! I am financially stuggling too. Today I went to his mothers house to talk to her about it and although she did offer to help I turned her down, I just don't need to feel indebted to her at this point and she didn't offer until after she recommended that my 15yo get a job and my 13yo babysit to contribute, OH YEAH! Why should my children support us when my ex is off taking vacations? HUH? WHATEVER!
I am SO you are going through this, it must make you so angry. Can you get any help form the gov? I had to get food stamps. What about child support? Alimony? Hang in there! Nancy
I think most of us are or have been right where you are. I know I am.
I have four children. My oldest daughter from my first marriage just turned 20 but she is still living with me as she is attending nursing school. Her father is $15,000 in arrears for CS and has not helped with one penny for college expenses. She is working but I do not make her pay rent as she is trying to save for school.....one way or another the money will come out of my pocket so she may as well try to save as much as she can now.
I have been seperated from my second husband for 10 months...we have three kids...9, 12 and 15. I have received no CS at all. I am having to rent a house in town, pay utilities, insurance for my truck and my daughter's car, but groceries for 5 of us, clothing, had to completely furnish the house from scratch and in doing so have used up every penny of my savings and RRSP funds. I have not yet been able to pay rent this month and my water and sewer bill is four months over due. Both my credit cards are maxed out...leaving me owing over $7,500 on those. I have had to borrow money from my kids for the past few weeks to buy groceries and gas.
Meanwhiule, my ex is living on our farm, in our 2,400 sq foot 3 year old home....worth well over $350,000, did not have to buy anything but a new couch and loveseat and has not paid me a cent for anything.
I am not working right now as my 'career' for the past 15 years has been stay at home mom and farmer/rancher. ( we own a herd of cattle which ex also has not paid me for ). I am trying to find a part time job while the kids are home for the summer and I have been accepted to school in September...IF I can come up with the money. My school schedule will allow me to work part time while attending...but it really ticks you off when you struggle every day to make ends meet when you are owed more than $120,000 for property that belongs to you. Especially since ex's lifestyle has not changed one bit.
Hang in there...hopefully it will get better for all of us soon....it really can't get a whole lot worse at this point.
I want to thank all of you for your kind words. I guess there are alot of us out there that are left in the lurch. I certainly understand about being behind in utilities. I am too. It certainly does not seem fair that your ex is able to live like that and not pay you anything.
I talked to an attorney yesterday and I am going to file Bankruptcy. I love my home but it is not worth all this stress and there are too many memories of him in it. I want a fresh start.
Good luck to you in your situation, have you talked to an attorney about bankruptcy? That would kick his butt out of that house. (((((hugs)))) Sunshine
hi and hugs. i live in a different country so the situation is different as far as legalities etc are concerned but ----- my situation is not different in terms of my being broke, and not having a solution in the near forseeable future.
but anyway. I was divorced, i had no money and i had alittle kid. i guess in some ways i felt like a 'martyr' you know - poor me, i simply CAN'T get a better job, i simply CAN'T go back to schhool now, etc because i have this kid to take care of . anyway then i married this guy who was supposedly rich (to this day i really don't know how rich he is), and who told me that he would support me and my son, and that i didn't HAVE TO work, but i COULD work just to HAVE FUN.
and stupid me - just went along with it. handed over all my money that i had from before (not a lot mind you, but it was all i had). used "MY" paychecks to buy stuff for the house because "HE" couldn't afford it (he is veeeerrrryyyyy paranoid and believed that i wanted his money)but i was never acknowledged as a breadwinner because MY salary was a joke. etc. etc.
and like many other women, i TRUSTED him. no - i really DIDN'T trust him, but i wanted to BELIEVE that i did. i so wanted the marriage to work that i allowed all the manipulation and control to go on and on until i had no "me" left. i was a total doormat, supporting his every step, cheerleading him along, and i was less and less of a person. and his big "I will support you" was a joke because his idea of suitable clothing is the clearance rack at k-mart or payless shoes. and truly - i don't NEED to
Hang in there.
I’ve been separated from my husband for over a year and four months. We filed for Chapter 13 last year and it was discharged in March. Now we/he get to negotiate with the IRS for his business taxes. He NEVER incorporated his business which made me liable for his taxes.
If it weren’t for my parents, I don’t know how I would have made it this far.
Filing for Bankruptcy was such a hard decisions but it was the right one.
Stay strong.
Sending you good karma and positive energy.
P.S. I'm saving $$ to file.
You are so right. I woke this morning from a horrible dream. It was about my ex. I think that being in this house, knowing that I am going to lose it is driving me nutty. I need to just move out.
I am afraid suddenly, which I guess is normal. I am alone. I have my kids but I don't have any girlfriends for support. I am 42 so I understand what you are saying. I married the last time for the very same reasons and like you, I lost myself. I need to focus on the positive things in my life and let go of all the bad. I am an RN so I can support myself and I have three great kids. You will not always be in that ratty apartment and like you said, It is only money.......Good luck to you....
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