Finding a good attorney
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Finding a good attorney
| Thu, 05-25-2006 - 1:26pm |
Hello, new to this board, but I've been posting a lot on the Betrayed Spouses Support board. Anyway, I decided to quit obsessing about finding proof and just be proactive and start the divorce process myself, since H and I can't seem to stand each other anymore. We have a young DD, so of course I'm so conflicted because of her, but being a child of divorce myself, I know my childhood was MUCH happier because my parents got divorced (my dad had issues back then, and it served as a wake up call to him and he is doing much better now, and he and my mom are now very friendly and cordial with each other, but I digress . . . ). So, my question is how to find a good attorney. I have some friends that have gone through divorce that I can ask for recommendations, but I was also wondering if anyone else had any advice? I'm pretty sure H wants out by his actions and demeanor, but he has not had the courage to tell me apparently, so I will be "the bad guy." I want it to be as amicable as possible; I don't want DD to be pitted against each of us. Maybe that's another reason to go ahead without waiting for "proof" of H's infidelity - keep DD from knowing that. Thanks!

crafty 1985...
A suggestion from Pianoguy:
If you have friends or family members who have been through "the divorce process"---ASK THEM FOR A 'LAWYER REFERREL!'
If you're going it alone...you might want to talk with a social services employee who could possibly offer a name or two?
I hope you're not choosing divorce based on "the past events your parents went through?"
If you haven't SERIOUSLY talked with your husband about the possibility of divorce...PLEASE HAVE THE CONVERSATION WITH HIM FIRST! By doing this, you'll spare your daughter a lot of unnecessary emotional heartbreak!
Do your best to KEEP YOUR COOL and honestly evaluate what's best for each of you...as well as all 3 of you!
Good Luck!
Pianoguy
Thanks! Oh, no, I'm not looking at it from my childhood perspective; in fact, that was reason to avoid divorce so as to not repeat the pattern. However, the M has just become completely broken down. Trying to talk to him is near impossible; the times I have tried to find out what's wrong and what we can do, I just get belittled. I'm in IC myself and have been for a long time and have been discussing this for so long. I feel like I've put in so much effort and just keep getting rebuffed to the point where my self-esteem is next to nothing, and that's no way to live. It's been that way for at least the last three years. He's too into his porn and apparently his coworker (and maybe others, I sometimes wonder) to pay attention to our M, and I've had enough.
I've thought about the MC route, but I'm actually too embarassed, thinking he'll make me look even worse because I have ADD and tend to be disorganized, a slob, etc.; he's got that much "control" over my self-image, even though it seems like his behavior is much worse than mine. However, my ADD and depression seems to be worse because of him; he treats me like he does, I retreat further and become worse, etc. He has said some hateful things to me that I can't forget.
Edited 5/25/2006 5:38 pm ET by crafty1985
Hi crafty, I frequent the other board, too.
I always recommend that you call the local women's shelter to see if they will tell you who they refer their clients to. Often, whoever they make referals to will be very good and less expensive.
Dear Crafty,
Here in my town, we have an organization called "Family Outreach Ministries", they can give you leads and advice if you have that type of organization in your area. Also, local church counselors can also help in this area, they might be able to recommend someone or another organization that can help!