First step

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2005
First step
2
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 12:55am
After being a housewife for the past 2 years, I finally got a job. This is a big step because it's the first step of our separation. Because it's not a bitter divorce, we still live together and will continue to do so until I'm financially stable. Up to this point, it hasn't really felt like we're separating. But as soon as I got offered that job, it was like it all hit at once. It had the same effect on him when I told him the news. Suddenly, I'm having second thoughts... I know it's best if we continue with the separation, but I'm scared to death. When he goes to work, I miss him. When he's asleep, I'm lonely. When he comes home, I don't want anything to do with him. No matter how much I want him around, the problem remains that I'm just not attracted to him - I still think of him as "just a friend". I'm so confused! If I'm not in love with him, why does this hurt so bad? I'm the one who asked for it! It's not supposed to be this confusing!
Sorry to vent. I just hate this!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2007
In reply to: emeraldeyes01
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 7:21am

It is this confusing because it is a huge step... a huge adjustment... so even if you were the one who wanted it... even if you're the one who was so sure a while ago, there are days and times that you're confused... the whole divorce and separation process is a roller coaster of emotions... you'll have good days and bad... the important thing is to feel what you're feeling and not deny what you are feeling.


Based on some things earlier in your post--have you considered counseling?

 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2007
In reply to: emeraldeyes01
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 10:37pm

I am currently in the same situation you are in but add a 2 yo daughter.