Forgive or Stay Mad and Hurt?
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Forgive or Stay Mad and Hurt?
| Thu, 06-12-2008 - 6:59am |
All,
I am wondering about how all of you are doing with regard to forgiveness. We hear so much about being spiritual, and letting go. But on the other hand there is

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OK from someone totally objective-I don't have young kids-there is not an OW that I know of-I went back and reread all the postings
I was not the original poster of the question.
Dear babyboohunk,
My parents divorced when I was 2.5. They both remarried within a few years, and my dad had 3 more children with my stepmom. My father is now deceased, but I definitely felt "replaced" by his new kids. It wasn't the stepmom that bothered me, it was the new kids. And, don't get me wrong, I love my half-brothers and half-sister, but it took me about 12 years to come to terms with the fact that I felt replaced. I think the part that most made me feel this way is that he never pushed to have us around. So, it seemed like he didn't care about us at all.
Have you and your STBX been to any kind of therapy together? Will he go? On one hand, I think it is healthy for your kids to start realizing that mommy and daddy will NOT be getting back together (as hard of a lesson as that is to learn). On the other hand, if the fiancee (yes, I realize you must be fuming, especially since you're not even divorced yet...I totally get that) is disturbing your children, your STBX really needs to acknowledge that and do what is appropriate. I am sure that on a practical and financial level, the decision for her to live with your STBX makes sense. Obviously he is having a hard time figuring out a balance between personal happiness and responsible parenting. (Why did I feel like there was a general "year rule" to introducing the kids to a new love interest?!?!?) I'm just afraid that your STBX will make the wrong decision and if he is told that his fiancee cannot be around the kids, that instead of making her disappear, he will have the kids around less. I would think that not ever seeing their dad would be worse for the kids than seeing him with another woman.
I wish you the best of luck and hope things get worked out soon.
Woa You really
ME TOO!
Married 17 years. Husband has anger issues and money issues. Spends like a drunken sailor. Kids/family not priority, all the time, HE is his priority.He is not a grown up.
Well I found out why.
Turns out he is a CROSS DRESSER and has been LYING to me about it for YEARS. Spending money, going to clubs. Secrets and lies. He dropped this on me after 17 years and two kids who
I admire you. You are working it out over time, you just don't see it!
Thank you for the supportive words!
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