Forms for Financial Info/Move Away Case
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| Mon, 10-10-2005 - 11:40pm |
Hi all,
I am wondering if anyone knows the ramifications of not having all the correct forms 'filed' before our final full custody trial date over the Move Away occurs? All the initial paperwork and fees were submitted by the lawyer I had over 9 months ago, including the financial disclosure stuff. I do have a job now and there is some form that should be updated I am pretty sure, but I have no lawyer and probably can't afford any of the fees to file anyhow, and I cannot afford even a Paralegal service. I guess I will take copies of my paystubs with me and bank account information to court that day; that is all I can think of doing, and whatever copies I have of my bills. There are no assets. I could afford only one of the court ordered parenting classes they assigned for both of us to take. I really got a lot out of it, the instructors were practical and kind and also tried to inject a little humour into the topics. Its not much good if the other former spouse isn't interested in trying to have some sort of business-like relationship at least for the kids sake though. You can't make it happen with just one of you trying...kind of like the original marriage relationship too,huh.
There are no scholarships or payment arrangements available for the other classes, so I only took one of the three things the temp orders said we were both supposed to take. We were both ordered to attend one on one counseling as well. I did have a M&F Counselor from January through May, but stopped because I couldn't keep paying her. I hope the judge will at least think that I did get some help even if I didnt' go to a full phd psychologist. Surely he/the court system must see in some cases that even if one of the spouses wants very much to comply, there just isn't the money for it. We are living at crisis point - they have to be able to see that. If not, then there is nothing more I could do that I can think of. And I could not take the children to the kids class for divorced kids because he would not pay and he is againast anything to do with 'psychology' or 'quackery' as he puts it. (We have near 50-50 joint physical and legal right now since May, before that from January when I filed through May the children had been with me 80% and him about 20%, though I let him take them special times other than the strict visitation most any time he or they asked, because I wanted them to get to see their dad and their grandparents as much as possible. This has never been about keeping them from him, I wanted so much to just get away from him, but find ways for the children to have as much of both of us and their other extended family as is possible. He doesn't feel that way though...he just wants to erase me from the 'family name'. I hope the judge can see that through some of the paperwork filed early on when I did have a lawyer.
I have the children with me on Saturdays which is when that six week childrens divorce support class runs but I can't pay $185 for myself and $65 each for five children to enroll in the course. I only can hope the judge will see that I have done the best I could and that without getting the child support on any kind of dependable basis or ever in the amount we are supposed to get, I have kept things going the best I could. I guess I will be facing 'contempt of court' charges; which I also don't really understand what will happen to you if you are charged with those.
I am trying to think of any thing I can take which will be needed or asked for. I am looking forward to it for some closure for the children, but am so scared myself, how I will not just lose it completely and then not be able to answer clearly and calmly when I have to go up on the stand. It will be so hard to go up there, I know you shouldn't care who is there -but the combination of the children and my entire futures being at stake and facing whomever stbx decides he wants to bring to the court, all the court personnel, his lawyer firing questions at me...I won't be able to answer very quickly or remember everything, dates etc. I was told you cannot take notes up on the stand with you.
I don't see what the point is. If I don't have a lawyer, I will just be sitting there, denying whatever his lawyer says that might be false, and I will not have any offense against him, just defend the best I can from his accusations. What good is that to the judge? Why can he not just ask me or the stbx or the childrens' lawyer the questions that are unclear or anything factual about the children which he needs to know etc, if or that he doesn't feel he has enough information about, or ask me or stbx for documentation if something is missing. I feel like I am in some bad Perry Mason re-run.
Any information you can share if you have been to a Full Custody Trial or especially a Move Away Custody Trial would be appreciated. Blessings to all who are going through such tough times. Thanks much. Annah

I just wanted to send my {{HUGS}} to you.