Freaking Out
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Freaking Out
| Sun, 01-07-2007 - 6:22pm |
Ok... So I know we are all going through the same crap... but I am totally freaking out. My husband and I married a litte over 3 and a half years ago. (2nd marriage for both of us = I have two children from a previous marriage (girls 13 & 15) and we have an 8 month old boy together).
Our relationship has been "rocky" to say the least for at least a year. Things escalated when I got pregnant even though we planned the pregnancy. I am not attempting to bash my ex but we are breaking up basicly because my husband is SELF ABSORBED. Seriously, fits the mold... body builder (so nothing comes between his training) is never wrong and now seems to have "issues" with my daughters. Treats our son like a god (When he sees him since he is either at work or at the gym and rarely makes it home before his bedtime). Last night was the breaking point for me.
He and my 15 yr old daughter went to pick up dinner. He got seriously bent out of shape over a cashier's error ($.39 cents) and just freaked on him. He asked my daughter if she could believe the cashier's stupidity and she said "It is just a soda" and he told my daughter to "Shut the F#%$ Up!"
When they got home my daughter was in tears... he mentioned the problem with the cashier but not what he said to my daughter. She of course was the one who had to tell me.
He has apologized to her... but it was the final straw.
Now... I am freaking out. I have been a stay at home mom since my son was born (before that I worked at our training studio) and have no means to support myself and the children.
We have in the past threatened to divorce but it always comes back to apologies and things are good for a month. But he has been gone for hours now (he stayed on the couch last night) and it seems real.
I know it time to split, but how do you get over the fear?
Any advice would be so appreciated.
Our relationship has been "rocky" to say the least for at least a year. Things escalated when I got pregnant even though we planned the pregnancy. I am not attempting to bash my ex but we are breaking up basicly because my husband is SELF ABSORBED. Seriously, fits the mold... body builder (so nothing comes between his training) is never wrong and now seems to have "issues" with my daughters. Treats our son like a god (When he sees him since he is either at work or at the gym and rarely makes it home before his bedtime). Last night was the breaking point for me.
He and my 15 yr old daughter went to pick up dinner. He got seriously bent out of shape over a cashier's error ($.39 cents) and just freaked on him. He asked my daughter if she could believe the cashier's stupidity and she said "It is just a soda" and he told my daughter to "Shut the F#%$ Up!"
When they got home my daughter was in tears... he mentioned the problem with the cashier but not what he said to my daughter. She of course was the one who had to tell me.
He has apologized to her... but it was the final straw.
Now... I am freaking out. I have been a stay at home mom since my son was born (before that I worked at our training studio) and have no means to support myself and the children.
We have in the past threatened to divorce but it always comes back to apologies and things are good for a month. But he has been gone for hours now (he stayed on the couch last night) and it seems real.
I know it time to split, but how do you get over the fear?
Any advice would be so appreciated.
Signatures On
| Sun, 01-07-2007 - 7:31pm |
I am going through the same thing you are. While my husband and I have been married over a year, the whole thing has been rocky to say the least. My husband left on friday (I have the post "Absolutely alone and terrified.") I know what you are going through. Its a crappy and shocking weekend. I am so sorry that anyone else has to go through this. I know this isn't much help as my mind is totally clouded and overwhelmed, but I just wanted you to know that someone else is where you are right now and just as scared and freaked out. There seem to be so many unknowns right now and like life will never settle down and ever fall into place again. I am optimistic it will. I am just realizing I need to take it one day at a time. I have not tried to contact my husband since firday, although he has sent texts, and its been the right move for my situation. I am looking at this as a time to clear my mind and take as long as I need to get some perspective. There were two very helpful. I wish you the best (as good as it can be at this time) and while I dont have any real advice, just know that you are not alone.
| Mon, 01-08-2007 - 11:46am |
Thanks so much for your message. Yes it has been a very shocking weekend. It is just so hard trying to figure out the next steps. What is worse is my husband comes by the house at night to play with our baby (not a word to me of course) and it just makes it harder. Need to try to piece my life back together... find a job I guess is first on the list. Thought about filing for divorce today but just couldn't bring myself to do it.
| Mon, 01-08-2007 - 12:09pm |
Just start and keep going. Get a handle on all your finances, go online for help in whatever area you need, go to Barnes & Nobles and sit and read for free on whatever topic you need. Find your family, friends, whoever can be a support system and use them. Realize there will be many good and bad days, like today for me - rest up and go at it again. I'm believing my friends who tell me that once I get through it the real happiness I haven't had in a long time will come. Good Luck!
