Friendly divorce but still very sad
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Friendly divorce but still very sad
| Sat, 03-19-2005 - 6:49pm |
Hi everyone,
I'm so glad to be able to communicate with people who are going through similar situations. I'm trying to be strong & not cry but it's tough at times. I just signed the divorce papers last week, how ironic that it happend to be on our 8 year wedding anniversary.STBX & I had problems in our marriage from the start but tried to work it out. We had issues with his family, his mother being hospitalized 4 times (me being taking care of her after her release),the death of his only brother,his drinking,infertility issues. Sorry to be so vague but it's would be too long & painful to explain in detail.Let's just say in the last two years I've had 3 surgeries, 2 MRI's, 1 CT scan,2 trips to the emergency room, and too many visits to the dr's!!! Talk of divorce was something that was present for the last few years but STBX always asked me to patient for a little longer & promised things would change.I just held on because deep down I know he is a wonderful person & really wanted it to work.I felt like when he/his family was in need I had to put whatever I was doing aside & put them first. When I began to have health problems after the IVF, rather than being supportive he went into his own depression & was not there for me.I felt betrayed. I could also see that both of us really changed as people & didn't want the same things anymore.I realized at age 34,being married for 8 years w/no children, I've made too many sacrifices for him. The stress of my marriage was taking a toll on my health & I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore.It took me months of trying to convince him to deal with reality and push for a divorce. He knew we had problems but was in a bit of denial since we seemed to ignore & go on for the the past 8 years.At this point I just feel really lonely because all of my close friends are happily married with kids. They are supportive but can't really relate. I'm also so sad because STBX and I made a promise to be amicable through this. We did so much fighting & arguing when we were married we didn't want to end things that way too.I'm just feel lonely & so sad all the time.
I'm so glad to be able to communicate with people who are going through similar situations. I'm trying to be strong & not cry but it's tough at times. I just signed the divorce papers last week, how ironic that it happend to be on our 8 year wedding anniversary.STBX & I had problems in our marriage from the start but tried to work it out. We had issues with his family, his mother being hospitalized 4 times (me being taking care of her after her release),the death of his only brother,his drinking,infertility issues. Sorry to be so vague but it's would be too long & painful to explain in detail.Let's just say in the last two years I've had 3 surgeries, 2 MRI's, 1 CT scan,2 trips to the emergency room, and too many visits to the dr's!!! Talk of divorce was something that was present for the last few years but STBX always asked me to patient for a little longer & promised things would change.I just held on because deep down I know he is a wonderful person & really wanted it to work.I felt like when he/his family was in need I had to put whatever I was doing aside & put them first. When I began to have health problems after the IVF, rather than being supportive he went into his own depression & was not there for me.I felt betrayed. I could also see that both of us really changed as people & didn't want the same things anymore.I realized at age 34,being married for 8 years w/no children, I've made too many sacrifices for him. The stress of my marriage was taking a toll on my health & I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore.It took me months of trying to convince him to deal with reality and push for a divorce. He knew we had problems but was in a bit of denial since we seemed to ignore & go on for the the past 8 years.At this point I just feel really lonely because all of my close friends are happily married with kids. They are supportive but can't really relate. I'm also so sad because STBX and I made a promise to be amicable through this. We did so much fighting & arguing when we were married we didn't want to end things that way too.I'm just feel lonely & so sad all the time.

Wow... you've really had a LOT going on... and it's hard enough to keep a relationship strong without having to keep yourself... and other's healthy, too.
Hang in there.... and try to get yourself healthy... and don't think that seemingly "happily married" friends won't be there with you.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~