Friends with Ex?
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Friends with Ex?
| Fri, 10-14-2005 - 12:05pm |
Do you guys really think it is possible to be friends with you Ex? I'm very conflicted. I do want to have a friendship with him but, I feel sometimes foolish for wanting that. I told him ds and I were going to a festival on Sat and he said let's go to the mountains instead to do this ghost train thing. That's like a whole day thing and I'm suspicious. I don't think he is doing it for my ds, I think he wants to remind me what we used to have. We do have a good time together, I just don't trust him, never have. Do any of you do "family" type things with you ex?
Thanks,
Jessica


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I don't want to be friends with my ex.
No, NEVER!!!!!!!!!!
And I can't see it ever happening.
Breakup was so horrible. It's all I can do to keep from throwing up when I have to see him at possession switch or at a kid function.
If I could have tolerated being around him, I might could have tolerated being married longer--till our little one was older, anyway.
Hugs, Brenda
Hi.
Jessica, I'm separated from my husband since 12/04 and we're still friends, although no papers have been filed. Our younger son stays with him and i have the oldest. We often go out for dinner w/ the kids, monster truck events, etc. He invites me out to lunch during the workweek at least twice a week; he's planning a trip to Brookdale in the Poconos as a family. We always have a good time together. My issue w/it is a part of me wants us to reconcile which I too feel foolish for since he insists he doesnt want more now so why hang around so often?? I'm not sure whre his head is ya know? Does he do this for the kids or himself? He claims he & I can't be together for various reasons but he's carrying on as if we are. Very confusing. I try my best to enjoy the famililar w/o losing myself in the fantasy. I'm not sure if you want to maintain such closeness, but it can get emotionally tricky. You figure you're used to doing those things together for years so of course they're gonna seem natural, more or less, you just have to remember to take them for what they are, precious moments with your kids and a friend: your kid's father and your ex.
Now if I could only follow my own advice.
Hi all,
I try to get along with my ex for the girls. He has the youngest living with him and I have the older 2. So we really don't talk about anything but them. so I don't talk tohim unless we are dicussing the kids.
lisa j romesburg
You are singing my tune. I have the same situation with my STBX, but I don't necessarily have trust issues. I just don't like his controlling behavior. I don't mind being with him for the sake of the kids, taking them to special places, etc. For example, this Sunday we're going to a Pumpkin Festival that was an annual event for the last 3 years and we'll go together and we're taking ds to Disneyland for his birthday next month. I limit how often we do "family outings" (he'd do them every week but I only agree to once a month).
I think in our society we hear so much about "messy" divorces that it seems strange that one could actually get along with their ex but it does happen, and if you have kids, as you do, it sure makes it easier. If I didn't have kids, quite frankly, I would stay away from him LOL....
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