Friends with Ex?
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Friends with Ex?
| Fri, 10-14-2005 - 12:05pm |
Do you guys really think it is possible to be friends with you Ex? I'm very conflicted. I do want to have a friendship with him but, I feel sometimes foolish for wanting that. I told him ds and I were going to a festival on Sat and he said let's go to the mountains instead to do this ghost train thing. That's like a whole day thing and I'm suspicious. I don't think he is doing it for my ds, I think he wants to remind me what we used to have. We do have a good time together, I just don't trust him, never have. Do any of you do "family" type things with you ex?
Thanks,
Jessica


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Jessica, My ex and I have been divorced for 8 yrs and we have tried to maintain a cordial relationship for our boys sake...and it has worked out great. We were married for 14 yrs and it was devastating for me when we broke up. I really just about 3 yrs ago could actually let go mentally, but trust me we have butted heads when it comes to the kids and still do once in a while. But we can talk and I still go to him if I have a problem with anything. We have always given him really nice Christmas presents, I think because he shells out ALOT in child support and has always been there for us.
I know people thinks it unusual, but they also think its very nice for the kids that we can maintain a good relationship for them. Its not always about us, because the kids never asked for any of this.. We have gone places together, not to much anymore because the boys are so much older and 2 drive now.there all teenagers, but he left when they were 4,6, and 8 yrs..But when our oldest Graduated this past summer...we all sat together and when pictures were taken we had some with the whole family together, which is nice when you think about it...The kids can have those photos for later in life to look back on ...It makes life so much easier and peaceful for your kids...AND ISN'T IT REALLY ABOUT THEM...Victoria
Karen ~ wildlucky4me
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Thx!
Jess
I would hope that someday that can happen. Right now there's not a snowball's chance in hell of that happening. He let's his 21yr old you know what interfere when we were discussing the baby's breakfast Saturday when he took him for his visit. I pi$$ed. Dont know if I can ever forgive him for this. We used to do things "together as a family". After he would leave I would be a wreck emotionally, we even slept together a few times. I cut all of that out. I've been better since I cut off contact unless he was picking up the baby.
Now we will be going to a mediator for a schedule set by the court because he's too inconsistent with his visits and wants to do things last minute. I need stability and so does the baby. I met with the mediator today and he goes on Friday. So for now I dispise him for his behavior on Sat. I know I have to do what's best for the baby and I will but at the same time I have to do what's good for me to so I can be healthy emotionally for the baby.
Hugs.
I've been divorced 4 months from a great guy (and I too am very messed up over this!) after 10+ years of marriage (16+ total together). I thought we were happy too, even up until the day he told me he didn't love me anymore (i found out later there was someone else in the picture)... i haven't talked to him in approximately 3 months... in fact I've told him the only time he is to contact me is if 1) our 11 year old cat gets sick or dies - he has custody, 2) someone from our past life together dies, or 3) if it has to do with the settlement agreement (we are still trying to sell the house and he owes me 1/2 the cash from the sale of his snowmobile which hasn't happened yet)... i've told him that I cannot, will not, ever be his friend (i know, i know... never say never)... but he hurt me worse then i ever thought he would do... and i'm still struggling to deal with all the changes that have happened within 28 days earlier this year... i figure he can't give me what i want (a chance to try) so by being friends with him I would only be giving myself false hope....
Ali
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