Frustrated

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Frustrated
7
Fri, 04-22-2005 - 10:50pm

Am I the only one who is completely overwhelmed by my situation?

After being a sahm, I had to get a full time job. No problem. I enjoy working actually. I found a great job where I work out of my house. But between the new job, getting a sitter for my dd, keeping up with the inside and outside of the house, I rarely get to bed before 2 am. There are some days I feel like I need at least 20 more hours just to get everything on my "to do list" done. What really makes me mad, is that my stbx still lives in the house that I maintain. Usually when I am going to bed, he is just coming home from who knows where. In the morning while I am getting dd breakfast and dressed he is still sleeping. If I ask him if he is going to be home to save some $ on the sitter, his reply is "No, I need to get some sleep" It is bad enough that the cs has not started to come out of his check yet and that I am paying for the sitter by myself, but he can not even spend time with his dd when he has the perfect opportunity to spend quality time with her.

I can't wait till he moves out! At least I will know that my efforts will be just for dd and myself!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
In reply to: cjkrol
Sat, 04-23-2005 - 10:13am

Understanding your frustration..... Hugs to you sweetie.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2004
In reply to: cjkrol
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 9:32am

Oh, my, big ((hugs)) to you!!!! I can feel your pain, but at least my STBX isn't living in my home! I'd kill him! I don't know how you are tolerating it.


I too am overwhelmed with daily to-dos. I have two little boys, ages 3 and 2, I'm a full-time student, I work part-time (about 30 hours a week actually) and I am pregnant. I'll tell you, one thing that helped me was to reevaluate what 'needed' to be done to maintain the house. Now that my STBX

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
In reply to: cjkrol
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 11:11pm
Well, I had enough! Today I went and found an apartment that I am really excited about. I was trying to keep the house, but it is not worth it. My dd happiness and me keeping my sanity in worth more than any house. Not to mention I will be 2 miles in either direction to both of my sister's homes! It is much bigger than I expected to find and I am really looking forward to starting my new life! I think this is the first time I have felt a sense of stability since this whole thing started. Wait till STBX finds out that we are moving out! HA HA! He will learn very quick what it takes to keep up the home, 2 dogs,(one who has seizures) full time job, etc. (btw, I have sole custody, so I am ok with taking dd and moving) Finally, a happy post!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
In reply to: cjkrol
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 5:42am

yeah to you!! good luck on your new place - a chance to make YOUR home for you and your dd.


I always found it funny (not ha ha funny) when peopel ask me how i can get along without my EX? in terms of maintaining the home. well - the ONLY thing i miss is the car! my ex is such a PIG - so in addition to my working FULL TIME, i had to not only clean the NORMAL things in the house - kitchen, bathrooms, etc but i was busy picking up after him, flushing the toilets he never flushed, washing the towels he couldn't be bothered hanging up (so that by the time i got to them they HAD to be washed), throwing out his junk mail (he would sit there, read it, and then LEAVE IT THERE). etc. i figure at least 3-4 hours a week just to deal with his sloppiness. and he didn NOTHING around the house - not shopping, or cooking, or cleaning up, setting the table. nothing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2004
In reply to: cjkrol
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 7:53am
yay!!!! I'm so very happy for you! Send some of those 'house-finding' vibes this way!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: cjkrol
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 9:21am

Let me tell you what may help .... GET HIM OUT. I dont know if thats an optin or not, but i could not IMAGINE still living under the same roof. It woudl be impossible in my situation as he was removed via Restraining order - & there was abuse - but either way, there was that issue of MY doing EVERYTHING, & being the one supporting us as well.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
In reply to: cjkrol
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 10:14am
Congrats on your new apt. It will free great to have your own place.