Full blown trial and custody evaluations
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Full blown trial and custody evaluations
| Mon, 03-26-2007 - 1:38pm |
I was wondering if anyone has been through an actual trial for custody...and if so, what was your experience like? What was the outcome? Any experience with an independant custody evaluation and guardian ad litem?
I'm facing a full blown trial with my crazy ex...he filed because he wants to move to california to be with his new GF. I know in all reality that he's not going to win,but am preparing myself for the whole ordeal. So, i'm just wondering what to expect and what others experiences were. TIA

Expect to pay a huge amount of money.
Expect to be unimpressed by the legal system, which does not care one wit about any of the antics your stbx will press in court.
Expect to see the salivating hyenas (lawyers, expert witnesses, gardian-ad-litem et al) of the family court system consume every dollar you have ever made.
Your stbx will get nothing, and he's blowing the kids future to do it.
Clearly he's pissed off and wants to harm you, and he's willing to take the kids out in the process.
Yep...couldn't agree more with your statements. I'm completely sick over the process and the amount of money spent. He clearly does not have their best intentions at heart...he will not win this but does not care about the amount of money i have to spend to defend myself. The amount of time I spend working for this only takes away from the kids.
But does anyone else have any suggestions or experiences to share.
One thing to keep in mind is that the family court system will attempt to maintain a "status quo" in the kids lives. So if you can find a way to keep them in the same school system and around their current friends/support, the court will appreciate that a lot. If you can presnet that to the judge, or gardian ad-litem, or whomever, make sure you do.
When it comes time for interviews and such (with councelors, gardian ad-litem), do some research. Put on a dog and pony show with reheared lines. Or more to the point, give "correct" answers, ie, the answers that make you look the best. And if that means you are lying, so be it. for example, if they were to ask you if you are harboring any ill will towards stcx and his gf, your answer if "of course not, clearly the marriage is not working, and I wish him and her the best, my focus is on what's best for the children and a shooth transition through the divorce process". You hold it together for as long as you can. And never let anyone in the court system see you angry or out of control!
During my divorce, I went through the same thing, including the false accusation that I sexually and physically abused my son.
My ex was attempting to relocate to another state. She claimed that she would help me secure employment in the new area too. When I was asked, I told the judge that moving my son while both parents were pursuing new jobs was a scenario that exposed my son to the maximum risk -- new school, new friends, parents both in new jobs, when would their be any time for my son? The judge did agree with this one.
During subsequent negotiations, my ex offered to eliminate any child support payments if she could take him with her, and he would be with me every summer and for the entire summer. The judge responded this to this one before I had a chance to answer -- if my ex thought I was sexually and physically abusing my son, why would she allow him to be alone with me?
By this time, the accusations were dispensed, but the damage was already done.
My biggest beef is that there seems to be no consequences levied upon a parent who is behaving badly, ie, false accusations, hiding money, lying, etc .
The whole thing just sucks, and you need to find a way through it without (a) losing your mind, (b) without giving into irrational impulses (glue the ex's car shut, have 4 yds of cement poured ito their driveway while they're at work, and so forth), and (c), don't let yourslef be contaminated by the filth of the process.
As always, I'll at least listen.