In a Funk

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In a Funk
5
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 2:17pm
Hello All,
Its been 4 mos since the divorce and i thought i was doing just fine. Ive been keeping busy w/my son, gym, and going out w/friends. I even started playing softball on a league through my job, but now for some reason, im not sure, i seem to be in a funk and i dont know how to get out of it. My ex seems to have gotten on w/his life and im sitting here still thinking about him, which totally makes me angry, because i know that he is not the one for me and that i deserve better. Its been bad the last week when all i can do is think about him and how he now has new life, w/new gf & new house. Ive tried to do things to get my mind off of him but he just keeps creeping in. Its made me very sad and im not having any fun when i am off doing things that interest me or even out w/my friends. I dont know if im feeling sorry for myself because he seems to be happy and living it up and well here i am still trying to hold on to the last bit of sanity i have. Im still looking for a house for me and my son and am planning for our future, but i just feel like a zombie. Its like im functioning but im really not here. Any other suggestions on how to get out of this funk and move on w/my life. Thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2005
In reply to: melrose02
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 4:05pm

It will take time after all you share a son together for that bond will be forever there and to see your ex happy and moving on can be frustrating for it sounds like you want him to be something as well just whenever you feel that way you need to remember what you have and to concerate on moving on and having a brighter future for honey its his lost and your gain to someone better and deserving of your heart and love. When I got in my funk I would call my friends up and vent or even coming on here is helpful too as well just know that your a wonderful person and know that you are loved and being supportive by us on here and those in your life don't let the past haunt you and don't let him moving on get to you after all you will get there too for time does indeed heal all wounds

HUGS

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
In reply to: melrose02
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 5:26pm

I have been there myself. In fact I think I titled one of my posts "In a Funk" also. I have struggled on and off with this feeling and it seems to hit hardest when I feel like stbx is moving forward faster than I am. He is currently on vacation with his girlfriend and when I found that out I cried for days. Fortunatly, I realized that in the end I will be in a better postion to find happiness because I am spending a lot of time - and money- working on myself so that I am ready for a new romance. He jumped into his before we were even really split up. I don't wish him ill, but I don't see how he can make this relationship work. When I get down about it, I remember that my goal is to make the best life I can for myself and my dd. I know that I have a good job and a nice home for us to live in and, even if I didn't, my daughter would still be happy and loved. We are together and her dad hasn't seen her for two weeks. How sad for him to miss all that time with his daughter so that he can run off with a new woman. I know it is hard, but I also know we will get through the funky times and be stronger in the end.

neverdull

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2005
In reply to: melrose02
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 6:39pm

I just wanted to share with you something that helps me when I get in a funk, but first I have to give a little background.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: melrose02
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 8:34pm
LOL!.... Look out for the flying pigs!!!

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
In reply to: melrose02
Sat, 08-13-2005 - 4:01pm

I'm glad I'm not the only one that goes through this. My ex also has a new GF that he's moving quite fast with. She has kids too and it really ticks me off when he's off trying to make them feel comfortable with him. He gets ticked off at me because my work schedule makes it so he has to drop off and pick our youngest up which means he can't spend every night at her house. HE takes it out on me because he has to miss time with his GF to take care of his own kids.

On the Fourth of July he didn't want the kids and I found out later that he spent the 4th with her and her kids and took them out for ice cream.

I have a BF who is good to me, but we'll never really move foward like most relationships do and I worry that this new woman will move in on my children. I guess I shouldn't worry about that. Her own offspring don't even want her having a boyfriend let alone one that will move in with 4 kids. LOL. A blended family is indeed a challenge that I don't want to go through. Thank God I go out with older guys with grown kids!.