game over
Find a Conversation
game over
| Sun, 07-13-2008 - 5:46am |
I have come to terms with the fact that I failed my spouse in our relationship. They have been unhappy for quite some time, and they have told me that they are unable and unwilling to proceed with anything less than a divorce. I have over a decade of history with this person, and I don't know what to do. It is my fault - I was a horrible partner, I deserve to be left in the dust. What makes it worse is the circumstances in which I lost this person. I don't know what to do. They have said it so plainly as to make sure there is no doubt in my mind that this has not been just a separation, but a 100% loss of this person from my life. They said: "I am not in love with you, I am not attracted to you, I do not want a relationship with you." These words, and other recent revelations have forced me to realize, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there is no hope for us, and no hope for me. I have failed them, myself, and our son. How does he handle this? I really don't know what to do. My whole life, there have been major events that I have not known how I would handle if faced with that event, and this is one of them. I am not equipped to handle life after this - this is a fate worse than death. What do I do?

Hey there.... don't be so hard on yourself.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Things have been a roller coaster ride, and not a fun one. My therapist has recommended I check myself into the hospital for depression. My future looks so bright career-wise, but none of that matters if I lose my family. The weekends are always the toughest for me, because I am faced with all this emotion, and fewer distractions to keep my mind off the pain. That doesn't mean I don't sit around on the weekends, though. I spend as much time as I can outside, I journal, and spend as much time with my son as possible. I get so sad when I see happy families, sad because of what I lost
I don't know if going to the hospital will help. Every day, something happens to remind me that there is almost no chance they will ever come back and want to be a family again
I heard a song today... and the lyric really hit me for a really close friend of mine... and hearing your words, I thought of the very same lyric.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Thank you for the words of encouragement.
I spoke with them tonight. We were both sick when we met almost 15 years ago, but they are convinced that the only way they will get better is to not be with me any longer.
We are both sick
The answer to the problem is not to walk out of the marriage. That won't solve anything.
Now it will be two people trying to get better, only they are apart, rather than together.
It just feels hopeless.