GET AN ATTORNEY

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2004
GET AN ATTORNEY
16
Wed, 08-31-2005 - 2:06pm
I don't understand why I read so many posts from people who don't have attornies.
Sanguine

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2005
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 2:06am
Hi,I may have been the one to stir up this post because of my post regarding the meeting with the ex's attorney today. First off, I don't have an attorney yet because I filed all my own papers back in January and have been working with him and her to get the correct papers regarding debts, child support and our parenting plan in order. He has done none of these things. I did see an attorney a few months ago, but he requested a 1500 retainer fee which I couldn't afford. He advised me to just write her a letter and basically give her my demands. As it is, she wants me to pay half or our debt which I dont' agree, with him not taking any of my student loan debt incurred while we were married. Anyways, I signed nothing today and spoke to a friend and he gave me the number to an attorney he recommended. I am giong to make the call tomorrow and let him handle it all. I am done with trying to work this out on my own and it is exhausting. Thank you everyone for your advice. And most improtnatly I agree, seek counsel before agreeing or signing anything.
Avatar for melsdone
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 9:10am

Is there a law school near you? Often there are law students who do pro bono work and there is often a "legal clinic" in the school. At the very least you might find a student who would be willing to help you with some of the legal lingo.

Don't give up, there's always someone who can help...maybe try the local women's aid office?

Mel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2004
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 9:38am
Anna, hang in there....I know that sounds hollow, but I do hope you can stay strong.
Sanguine
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2004
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 12:22pm

Hi,
I too couldn't afford a lawyer. I'm in Canada, and we do have what is called the "Do-it-yourself" divorce option, though. I was fairly lucky, too, because my STBX isn't exactly a rocket scientist and believes much of what I say. So I caught him cheating, tossed him out. He demanded half of the furniture, etc. but I told him two things: A) most of it I brought into the marriage with me, and therefore he had no claim to it (which is true in Canada) and he was welcome to the few things he had brought with him; and B) that because he had an affair he had forfeited his rights and I was keeping everything we had bought in common. (!) I packed up everything he had brought into the marriage, left it for him to pick up, and that was the end of that. We didn't have many joint assets, no house or anything. We had never combined bank accounts because he was so bad with money - otherwise we would never have had enough for rent. So I closed those accounts that were joint, and that was that.
I consulted a lawyer before filing, through the legal-aid referral service, and he said what I did was fine because STBX could have challenged it, but didn't, so that means he accepted it.
The only thing I regret is that from living with STBX I managed to get into about $18000 worth of debt. (Bad decisions, like bailing him out when his car got repo'd etc.) According to the lawyer, I could probably have gone after him for it, but the legal fees would basically have ended up being prohibitive. Besides which, I didn't have any way of coming up with the retainer.

Anyway - I cut my losses, and walked away. My do-it-yourself divorce will be final in three days... Sept. 4th. (and i still have all the stuff!)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 6:01pm
Here they no longer help with divorce, custody or support and I don't have $3500.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 8:03am
Where I am, you have to be below the poverty level to get Legal Aid. I called every law school in the state, and they do not offer free/reduced cost legal assistance for family matters. Also, most lawyers I spoke with want the retainer, THEN they'll talk to you about getting legal fees from your spouse. If I had not been able to take out a 401k loan to pay the lawyer, there was no way I would have been able to retain an attorney. I check every possible avenue, and there was no free/reduced cost help available that I could find.

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