Get a life, already!
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| Tue, 10-17-2006 - 9:05am |
Do you ever hear that?... Well, this article has some great ideas about how newly divorced (or newly single) folks can "get a life".
How does a newly-single woman get a life?
suzq0266 recently got a divorce, and now she writes: “Don't get me wrong, the divorce was the best thing I ever did - no regrets! However, I literally have no social life - and I mean NONE!... What do people do in a situation like this? Does anyone have any advice?... I need human interaction!!”
What’s a gal to do?
robinl2006: “It is hard to get back into the swing of a totally different lifestyle after divorce. Just pull up your bootstraps and go for it!!!! …The best way to meet people is just put yourself out there. It's sounds scary, but you can do it. “
Right. Easier said than done!
Some other suggestions: volunteering somewhere, joining a hiking club or walking club, taking classes about art or feng shui, joining a church or synagogue, getting a dog, starting a book group, joining a gym – the list goes on and on. And it occurs to me that these aren’t just great ideas for divorced people. How many people do you know who are single or dating or married and just bored with the same old same old? We should all try new things more!
Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m seeing a salsa dancing class in my near future.
Or wait. Maybe just some Tex-Mex cooking classes. Yeah, that kind of salsa. Mmmm...
Comments
It CAN be done - I'm living proof! I was a single mom for several years and, while it was challenging, it also held its own rewards, including a wonderful bond w/my DD. I'm now happily remarried, but I don't regret that time alone. Enjoy it for all it's worth!

Thanks for this post. I have difficulty reminding myelf from time to time that although my kids are top priority, I am no good to them if I don't have some down time to be me instead of mom. It is extremely difficult to find a social life in a small town with limited options and the fact that x doesn't get the kids and I have no relatives to call on. I wouldn't change my single mom for what I left for anything though and to those out there.....it does get better. Thanks again Karen for all of your words.
Denece
Hi Denece... It's funny, because I was just talking to my daughter last night about kids being #1.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Karen,
Amen to that. I am always amazed at how perceptive kids really are. I have been divorced about a year and my daughter asked me when I was going to start dating again. I thought it was sorta funny and asked her why. She said that I do so much for her and ds that I deserve to be happy. We had a long discussion on how a man will not make you happy and did I appear to not be happy? She related it all to her dad always having someone close by. Women irritate me when they focus more on finding a man then raising their kids. If the first or subsequent marriages didn't work, why is it going to this time? Kids do not need to be exposed to disposable bf or gf. I let anyone that is interested in me know right up front my kids are first and they won't be meeting them unless it is decided that they are going to be in my life for a long time. My dd plays fast-pitch softball and we are either at practice or on a field somewhere nearly every weekend and since she pitches, we pitch every day. People always are so negative about how much time and effort we put into this and I just ask them when was the last time you spent the entire weekend with your kids? No tv just you and them talking and spending time together. My youngest ds is just now starting his little social life and it is a juggling act to get everyone where they are suppose to be, but it is worth it. I might change my mind when dd is in her teen years, but I doubt it. When I do take the time to do something for myself, my dd keeps my ds usually and I either try to pay her like a babysitter or do something special so she doesn't resent keeping him. Which, the two of them are so bonded anyway, she wouldn't mind no more often than I do it. Solo momming isn't so bad, don't have to discuss the decisions with anyone except myself. Thanks for your words.
Denece
I definitely think that leaving the kids to "take care of each other" or just leaving them home alone for brief, age appropriate times, is GREAT.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~