getting divorced and pregnant too

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
getting divorced and pregnant too
6
Sun, 05-21-2006 - 10:52am
I'm nearly 4 months pregnant and I have filed for divorce. Hubby and I have a 3 year old daughter together. Since I have found out I was pregnant, he has started treating me even worse than he already had. He stays gone, out all hours of the night, and he lies and belittles me constantly. He stays on the internet, stays up all night and then sleeps all day until it's time to go to work. On a few occasions in the five years since we've been together, he has been physical a few times. Usually he is drinking when this occurs. Mother's Day was the last time this happened. I woke up to the TV blaring at 4:30 am and he is sitting there drunk knowing that I need to leave for work in a couple of hours and he will be watching our daughter. He thinks I am to blame since I'm the one who got upset!!!!!!!!! I just can't take it anymore. I live in Texas. I thought it was illegal to get divorced while you are pregnant in this state but my attorney assured me that it's not. She said it's just not recommeneded. I have had it and there is no counseling that can save us no. We are so far beyond that point that it's not even funny. I just feel bad because maybe I am old fashioned but this baby will be coming into the world already with divorced parents. Has anyone ever gone through anything like this? I would love to hear from you and any advice you can offer. Thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sun, 05-21-2006 - 12:49pm

Hi, and welcome! This must be SUCH a difficult time for you...knowing your marriage needs to end while you're expecting. However, in some cases, it needs to happen. Not only have you been physically abused, you've also been mentally and emotionally abused by your ex. It sounds like you are making a wise choice to end this destructive relationship.


I did not go through a divorce while pregnant, but my ex starting spending a lot of time with a "female friend" while I was expecting, so we were separated for a period of time while I was pregnant. And truly, it's very common being a single mom today. You don't owe anyone an explanation. You need to do what's best for you and your children. Hang in there!




Follow me to my partner in the siggy exchange....


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2004
Sun, 05-21-2006 - 1:46pm

First of all.........YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I'm so proud of you for removing yourself and your dear daughter from that awful situation. You have no idea how it will benefit her!!! Your STBX (soon to be ex) was abusing you. You are now teaching her that it's not okay to treat people the way he was treating you, and, that under no circumstances does SHE have to tolerate anyone treating HER in such a way.


I'll give you a brief version of my story:


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sun, 05-21-2006 - 2:09pm

Samantha...have I mentioned lately how much I love your singature and blinkies? Just for the record...for the 10th time...I love them!


I have to say, I am AMAZED at all you've been through and the incredible amount of strength you have shown. By sharing your story, you show it IS possible to leave your abusive marriage and prosper.




Follow me to my partner in the siggy exchange....


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 05-21-2006 - 3:17pm

Sweetie, you are actually giving this baby,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 05-21-2006 - 5:44pm

My EX was involved with probably his most emotional and physical affair while I was pregnant with #2... and still after I gave birth.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2005
Tue, 05-23-2006 - 6:44pm
I am about 15 weeks pregnant and I have 2 children. My husband is divorcing me. Amazingly, other than the drinking and the staying out all night, my husband does all the things you've described your husband doing. You are strong woman being able to leave like that. Though I know my husband does not love me anymore, I still beg for him to let us work it out. I think it takes a lot of strength and courage to do this at a time like this. I think it's great that you're taking charge of your life. You've given me a little hope. I hope everything works out for you.