Getting on with it all...
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| Tue, 07-25-2006 - 9:46pm |
K...someone who has been past the 'just now divorced for less than 30 minutes' stage...please give me a few comments!
So...you are done...final judgement is ink is almost dry...not completely, as the CS and Sp Spt hearing has taken three afternoons and still isn't done...but the Child Custody portion has been completed.
When there are 'adjustments' that need to be made...and don't ask if they are minor or major...ALL ours will be major if I go by what he says and does currently. The kids start back date is going to be different for school this year as we have moved to a new school district.
The ncp is to have summer vacation with them on 35 consequetive (sp?) days set by a prescribed start date in the custody order...but the new city we live in starts the school year earlier than where we were living at the end of the case.
So...I forwarded a neutrally-worded informational message with the new address, phone number and school start date. I asked if the ncp has any ideas he would like to discuss about how to give him 'make up time' during the rest of the year and then to change the summer vacation month with him next year to a different month during the break, so that this would not occur at that time again.
Is that 'how' you do this, after the divorce is final? Just communicate when circumstances arise, and then 'wait' and see if the other parent is going to make a motion before the judge or not? I want to let the kids see him as much as possible before he leaves, since he is moving out of state by choice.
I am assuming when he shows up on the particular start date that when I tell him they cannot go since their school starts in only a few days after that (I have it in writing)---well, he is going to call the police etc. I have sole custody, sole legal. I wish the school district date did not change, but the difference in our being able to live viably compared to where we had been living is enormous.
This all feels surreal still...I am not feeling much anger at all with the ncp...and do want the kids to have as much time with him as they can before he leaves....however, I do have to make some choices ...and they started school last year 'late' in November, so I do not want them to do that sort of thing again. I really have nothing that proves he is going to the other state...no new address, etc. so he could be just expanding that storyline as long as possible anyhow. If he stays local and thus is under the local visitation custody order, his visitation does not include a consequetive month anyhow.
I just think it in their best interest to start at the normal start time. I will wait and 'see' what he 'does'--- whether he gets the childrens lawyer involved, his lawyer or what.
Thanks for letting me think outloud on this one...

I would say that's probably your best bet. It was very wise of you to inform him of the new school start date well in advance. The only thing you might want to also do to cover yourself is send him a letter with a return receipt so you have proof he received it. My ex often "doesn't get" the e-mails I've sent him (when I darn well know he has.
Your ex may call the police, but it's also a crime to have children be truant, so I'm not exactly sure how this works out. Do you have a contact person/mediator you worked with through the court during the divorce proceedings?