Getting past the fear

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2005
Getting past the fear
1
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 9:40pm

STBX and I have been separated since November and we're planning on filing for dissolution of marriage soon. Lately, I've been worrying a lot about being able to afford to live on my own and get through grad school. I separate from the military later this year, so I'll have to find an apartment, get a job, set up all my utilities in my new place (scary if you've never done it before!), move, pay for daycare, etc. Also, I can't work for the first 18 months of grad school and only part-time after that, so I'll pretty much be living off of child support, the GI Bill money, and student loans.

So all of this upcoming on-my-own scariness has got me to thinking about all the good stuff STBX and I had and wishing I could take him back. He and I have been getting along a lot better since he moved out, but all the same stuff is still there to a lesser degree. I know if he moved back in, we'd go back to the same old crap because whenever he spends too much time here, we start to slip back into those patterns. And I have no desire whatsoever to be romantic with him, have sex with him, etc.

So how do I get past this fear of being on my own? I'm not scared of dating (got a date tomorrow actually), I'm just scared of finding a job with a good enough pay for me and DS to live off of. Any advice for moving past this fear?

TIA!

~~Mandy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 02-22-2007 - 11:06am

Hi Mandy...


For me, that fear was there until I got moved out on my own and the first couple of months went by and I made it!


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~