Getting ready to leave

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Getting ready to leave
1
Mon, 04-04-2005 - 7:51pm

After 2 years of trying to make my marriage work, I have given up. I have posted a couple of times on other iVillage boards, here they are for reference:

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlcommunityp&msg=3900.1&ctx=128

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlcouplescou&msg=8745.1&ctx=128

I have been completely honest and open with my husband about my feeling and wanting to leave. We were scheduled to move to Washington (we live in MI) in 3 months to be closer to my mom and for his business. I have decided I am leaving early and moving in with my mom. He will move in 3 months and get his own apartment.

I am so scared, I can't even express it. I am ill and only able to work part time and that scares me to death. I am so afraid of having to live with family for the rest of my life for financial support. However, I know it is better than staying in this marriage. He deserves to be with someone who is truly in love with him and can give him everything he needs. I just don't feel it anymore.

We hope to stay good friends, but in reality we know there will need to be a lot of healing before that can happen.

Anyway, I guess I am just looking for support. Any tips and advice will be appreciated.

Hugs,
abigial

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Tue, 04-05-2005 - 11:30am

Even though you are moving in with your mom, try and find a way to make your own space your own. In the next section down on the board there are tips of what people did when they separated or divorced, whether they stayed where they were or moved.

I don't know exactly what you are going through with your illness, but I have a chronic illness myself and I know one day I might face not being able to support myself. It is very scary to think about it, and it is reinforced by watching my disabled mother (same illness). Thank goodness for my step-father, because my mother could not live on her own. I wonder what would happen if I did not remarry and I ended up like her. I guess I could always go live with my sister (once my dd is grown). I wonder how her husband would feel about that, maybe I should mention it to them when I see them later this month :)

I hope you have the help you need with packing and moving. You are about to start your life over again, and although it might be scary or hard at times, it really can be a wonderful thing sometimes too.

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