Give me Strength!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2004
Give me Strength!
3
Fri, 04-21-2006 - 8:14pm

I need strength. I need encouragement. I know what I need and want - and I'm a big 'fraidy cat!!
I've been in a marriage for 20 years. I always told myself if it ever seems out of balance - like its been bad for more than it has been good, I needed to make a change - well, the last ten haven't been good.
I don't know where to start. I'm in a total wheel-spin. I've asked people about good attorneys instead of closing my eyes and pointing into the yellow pages, but nobody has any referrals. I called legal aid to see about assistance, but they haven't called back (I think "he" makes too much money).
He makes me mad so I get fired up and decide to do something, then I stop. Then I'm mad at myself for not getting anywhere.
I've been scanning documents - life insurance policies, retirement statements, gee, I even made a duplicate notebook for him when the time comes to take to his attorney!
Can anyone give me direction? I need to stop whining and get the ball rolling! Give me a goal! Give me a "things to do" list! Hold my HAND! Thank you in advance.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sat, 04-22-2006 - 8:32am

OK....


Step 1. Call your local bar association. You can find this in the yellow pages or online. Usually, there is a state or county bar association. They are happy to give you referrals.


Step 2. Call and make an appointment with the attorney. Most give a free initial consultation.


Step 3. You're already gathering information and documents, so that's great! Bank statements, credit card statements, retirement accounts, etc.


Step 4. Have you been to counseling at all? You were married for a long time, and divorce is a difficult, emotionally-draining process.


I hope that helps! Keep us posted on how you're doing.




What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sat, 04-22-2006 - 10:05pm
Hey.... if you cilck the link to Wild's World in my signature below.... that'll take you to our board's website.

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2006
Sat, 04-22-2006 - 10:15pm

Save up your own supply of money. Divorce is expensive. THINK about what you might want in a dissolution/divorce. My dissolution has a lot of standard items, as well as some extras I thought of and my attorney thought of. You can usually get an initial free consulation. Decide is he/she is right for YOU...antagonistic and aggressive aren't always the best. Make sure that lawyer has time and will keep you informed. (I had a terrible attorney when we first sought a dissolution...$1,500 down the drain....he just wanted to drag it out and cause more problems).

Get a journal and make a list of what you need to do. Keep it well hidden. Go to the public library (or go online and put in your order) and pick up some relationship, self-help, divorce strategy books.

What's your peace of mind worth? Your peace of mind is worth a lot...AFTER you have researched every way to save your marriage and sought counseling (marriage or individual).

Good luck!