Going back to my ex husband...should I?

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Going back to my ex husband...should I?
Sat, 09-15-2012 - 5:56pm

My divorce was final in June of this year, but I left 2 years ago once I found out my ex husband was cheating on me. We are actually at a place where we get along now and I don't get angry when I speak to him. Recently, he tells me he wants to start dating me and see where that leads. Once he said that it made me sad and took me back to that angry place because I feel if it wasn't for him we wouldn't be going through this. I do love him, I mean we were together for 10 years, he says he has learned from his mistakes and he misses me. I have been dating someone for a little over a year and now have broken it off with him because of all my mixed feelings. I'm so confused about it and it stresses me out. I don't want to make the wrong decisions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 09-15-2012 - 8:54pm

Do you feel that he has actually learned something from this?  There are some people for whom cheating would be a one time thing, they are sorry & never do it again.  Others who are habitual cheaters, probably don't change.  Anyway, it doesn't really matter what we think--it's how you feel about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Tue, 09-18-2012 - 2:12pm

When I first read your post I thought dont go back but I am really not sure.. If I had to go back to my ex I would throw up and throw myself under a bus.. no; not really (maybe)..

Anyway;; I will truely and honestly say I dont recommend it although I do know that people have done it.. and have been succesful.

Only you know what would be good for you... I do know its a dating jungle out there and there are slim pickings but I am alone and I would rather stay alone than deal with a past mess or whatever.. (baggage).........

What about both of you trying counseling or you trusting your gut and intuition... or you going to counseling and sorting it out with a trained professional.. Do you think you would be able to date ex and be happy and if it didnt work out you would move on again? That might be more painful than the last break up..

Dr.Phil says they are ex'es for a reason.. Maybe you could friend him for awhile and take it from there..

Do you love him?? Ask yourself the hard questions... Good Luck... its a tough one..