Going to Cabin Mon & Tue with DH

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2006
Going to Cabin Mon & Tue with DH
6
Fri, 01-27-2006 - 9:49pm

My boss is letting us go up to his cabin Monday and Tuesday and I'm not really wanting to go. We had another argument last night! He wanted to have Sex... I tried just telling him I wasn't in the mood. Instead of leaving at that he had to push the issue. So I told him the truth. I was still upset at our argument on Monday Night about my Girls Night Out that I'm not ALLOWED to go to anymore amoung other things. So I tried to tell him how I was feeling. Did he stop talking long enough to hear me?? Not a chance at one point he was talking loudly over me. He basically told me and in his exact words..."If your so unhappy then your a fool for still staying here! At which point I tried to clarify with him what that meant.. like are you saying that you dont care how I feel and that I should either get over it cuz your not going to change or compromise anything or pack my stuff and go. This is where he was talking over me and was being a complete #@$%!
So again as I did on monday I just shut my mouth as he talked AT me.

I didnt talk to him but once today when he called to tell me he was working overtime. He says he told me that yesterday. I will be making notes of this and check his pay check.

Anyway, We will still go the kids have been looking forward to going to the snow! We just shouldn't talk to eachother about anything with regards to this marriage or what ever this is.

On a good note I opened my own checking account today with my friends address. It is a start but it feels good to know I'm one step closer as small as it may be.

Taylor

Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-27-2006 - 11:04pm

Hey there Taylor...

I'm so sorry that you're having to go through all of this... I do, however, feel that you are being smart and getting your ducks all lined up before proceeding, especially with as controlling as your gem of a h seems to be...

I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers...

On a happier note, congratulations on taking a small step towards independence... Given what you've gone through, I can only imagine how nice it feels to you!

*hugs*

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 01-30-2006 - 8:50am
Hey Taylor.... I hope the trip goes smoothly.

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2006
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 8:59pm

Hi Karen,

The weekend was okay. The kids had alot of fun. I don't know how much longer I can go pretending to be in this marriage. I really am fighting with myself not to just sit down with him and tell him what I want. I'm not sure how he will react to that. I know that I will most likely have to live here with him until the house sells. Niether of us can afford the mortgage and bills alone. I have to have an apartment before September so that I can get my kids into the schools in the district that I want. I'm a planner and I hate not knowing that its not taken care of or even that fact that I dont know when I can get that done. I know there is not really a good time to tell him but since I have no choice but to live here even after I tell him when should I tell him?

Taylor

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 9:54pm

I'm glad that the weekend went..... OK and that the kids were able to have some fun.


Ya know, I lived with my EX until our house sold.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2006
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 9:54am

Hi Karen,

I knew I could count on you for good advice! I think that I have been focusing on just getting out of here that I'm not thinking clearly. I have so many things going on in my head that I just want it to be over. My DH is for the most part a calm person and I think your right that it is just going to have to be a conversation that doesnt point any fingers! That is where it gets messy if we try to talk things out. There are too too many things that have never resolved and never will.

I really appreciate your input!

Taylor

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 10:14am

Any time!..... I just remember being in the muck of it... and it's not easy to be able to think.... or do!... clearly when you're tired and exhausted.


Sometimes, to get through, you have to set aside the "who done what to who" to be able to, more plesantly, get where you need to be.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~