Going to Court on Thursday - Freaking Ou
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Going to Court on Thursday - Freaking Ou
| Mon, 09-18-2006 - 1:46pm |
This is my first hearing regarding divorce/temporary orders. I have a lawyer, but would love to hear from you all what I should expect??? I am a nervous wreck. Do I have to get on the stand or is it just between the lawyers? How long does it usually last?
My husband is trying to primary custody because basically he wants to control me and control when i get to see the children. We have been separated since June and have had the kids 50/50 since then.....the kids like it because they get to see both of us equally (kids are 8 & 6) What do you think his chances are of getting primary custody when the joint custody has been working great so far?
HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks
Kate

Kate,
i was where you were two weeks ago, nervous as all get-out, but if you don't live in the great state of TX, you probably don't have to worry about your hopes being dashed after 2 years of not receiving ANY support from STBX, and just recently, since early june, coupled with NO physical, emotional, or financial interaction with twin DSs from STBX-idiot.
i was nervous but so looking forward to a "temporary" resolution through the temp. orders, only to be ordered, apparently a new law in TX, that we have to go through mediation first, which is going to be a BIG waste of time cause STBX will not agree to anything, court-ordered or otherwise, so, my court date was a wash.
but here's what to expect: go into courtroom, arrive early, sit quietly with your attorney or attorney may sit in a "special" area upfront. judge calls the dockett & your attorney answers for you while your STBX's attorney answers for him. i hadn't seen my STBX, physically, since May; my attorney knew what he looked liked and said he had this nervous grin when he saw me and even tried to come over to where i was sitting, WTH?? until his attorney nudged him and directed him to the other side, uh, hello, he better had gone to the other side--i really didn't wanna have to get medieval on his tail!! and thank goodness he didn't bring skank GF (that's what was going to really set me off!!) ...
but it's not that awful--your attorney does allll the talking (you just sit, looking calm and gorgeous), but truly be prepared for your STBX's attorney, uh, who doesn't know you from the latest Barbie release, to paint whatever awful picture your STBX paints. oh, mine, who abandoned his sons back in early june, completely, and told me to come pick up their s--*, raise them myself and he'd see them when they get 18 ... oh, his atty, all of 4-foot-9-inches, said his client had been "emotionally mitigated ever since his STBX wife came to his home 3 months ago and removed the children" aghh!!! AND despite my STBX pulling in $10K to $15K a month, his attorney said during most, if not ALL the marriage, i made more money than him!!! AND i have denied him access to his own children, uh, the same children he refused to return their calls, missed their championship baseball game to take skank GF on vacation, didn't spend father's day weekend with his sons because traveling out of town to lay up with skank GF was more important. oh, just be prepared, but don't be frazzled, keep your game face on. only communicate with your attorney.
and most important: look fierce!! i saw STBX kept checking me out outside of courthouse, as i gave him my best carrie sex & the city walk past his skank tail, channeling Dominique Devereaux (from Dynasty) with long faux fur and large 70s sun shades (hee hee). but just know, i was ready to pimp slap him at any given point.
best of luck, you'll be fine. hopefully, knowing that you're not alone, should bring you some solace.
if you are lucky to actually not be derailed by mediation, temp. orders will be decided. although dads are gaining much momentum in legal system, if kids are in your home, 50 / 50 or not, chances are, you'll get primary custody until permanent custody is decided, especially if you were not the one to leave the home where children have been since before marriage split.
my STBX is fighting for custody, oh what a joke that is, just because he doesn't want to pay child support, so, just know where that may be coming from, relative to your STBX seeking custody.
best wishes, you will be in my thoughts!
look for my post-mediation fury diatribe in early october :) we can definitely commisurate!
hugs!
I was in the same exact situation last November where he wanted to have primary custody of our kids. Basically, I went into court and my attorney did all the talking on my behalf, as did his. It lasted no more than 10 or 15 minutes and I walked out of there with being able to see my children 50/50 as I had proposed. His control was taken away right then and there. Just relax and let your attorney do the talking. You'll be fine. It's very rare for children to be taken away from the mother.
We go to court next week for permanent orders (the actual divorce) and I'm looking forward to when the judge makes him pay me child support. My daughter is with me 50/50 and my son (17 years old) is living with me full time because he doesn't want to be with his father. He has not paid me a dime in child support because he "does not agree" that our son live with me full time. Again, I'm sure I'll watch the judge make the final decision and the turd will be forced to help support his own son. Let us know how things pan out for you. Best of luck and RELAX...
Belinda