Going to meet with a lawyer for the 1st
Find a Conversation
| Mon, 08-22-2005 - 1:04pm |
Hello,
I am new to this board. I generally post to the Fibromyalgia board. Since I have been diagnosed with FM our marriage has gone down hill. I am thinking of divorcng my DH. He has not been supportive since day 1 of my FM. He complained I wasn't at work helping with bills like I use 2, never helped me out during my time off work like housework, going to the Dr's etc, unless he wanted something from me. Now I have a job that I like, he complains because I work 2-10:30 pm with Tues/Weds off vs 9-5 M-F. He says we will never see each other anymore and since I work on the weekends he shouldn't have to help around the house since I am not doing anything on the house-my reply is I am at work. Plus, I do what I can on my days off when he is not here and before I got sick I use to do things all the time when we were both off when he was sitting on his butt doing nothing. He doesn't seem to recall any of this. Also, he still does that to me when I stay home not feeling well when he is off and doesn't feel he should do anything since I am not doing anything. When I came home from work yesterday, the house was messy-not the way I left it. The cats had an accident in the bathroom, he know about it, but didn't bother to clean it! It's like he is becoming is creep Dad little by little each day!!
I meet with a lawyer tomorrow for the free consultation. I am scared! I don't make as much $$ as I use, 2. I am afraid if I tell him I want a divorce he will leave me with all the bills, that I couldn't keep up with. I just want to the sell the house, split the equity after paying our outstanding bills, split up the household as equally as possible, and start over on my own.
I feel a little better telling someone. I don't feel I have anyone to talk to, other than my Mother. Atleast I have her support!
Amber

Pages
Hi Amber.... I'm glad that you are going to talk to an attorney.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
I agree with Karen.
I have seen relationships fail because of illness. I don't understand, but at the same time I do understand. People get lost in things sometimes, that doesn't mean it is un-workable.
I pray that you guys get everything going amicably and smoothly.
Hugs to you both and I hope this finds you feeling well :)
Angelena
I agree!.... This past year I've been up and down trying to diagnose what we now think is a combination of acid reflux and asthma... with a toss in of chronic fatigue syndrome to boot!
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Hi Amber and Karen--
You might want to have your adrenal function tested for adrenal fatigue. It is a common source of fatigue, and also is misdiagnosed or called Fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue. Or, it can be any combination of them. My chiro diagnosed me with FMS in 2002, but I don't have the muscle pain, just the tender points, which may or may not have been trigger points. At any rate, 99% of traditional MDs are NOT familiar with adrenal fatigue, as it does not involve the organic DESTRUCTION of the organ, just the EXHAUSTION of the organ. A naturopathic physician WILL be familiar with the condition, and it can be tested for (NOT covered by insurance, unless you have an MD who is familar witht he condition) with a saliva test, called an Adrenal Stress Index, or ASI.
Good luck, and good health to you all!
Susie Y
Sorry that you're facing this and not getting the support that you must so desperately need.
Before you go to the lawyer, be sure to have all of your financial information with you that you can get your hands on. Amount owed on mortgage, bank account balances, years and models of cars, etc. I didn't and my first consultation was pretty much a bust until I could get all of that info together. (To say nothing of feeling totally stupid -- I let my EX take care of all the finances, so I knew very little.)
Good luck and keep coming back here. Lots of information and a ton of support.
Edie
Interesting... I'll research that!... I'm pretty sure it's chronic fatigue, though.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Adrenal fatigue is also called chronic fatigue. ;-) From the research I've seen, most people will test positive for EBV-- it's just something that we pick up as children, and the antibodies stay with us for the rest of our lives.... If you have cycles of good days, then bad days, with waxing and waning energy, it's likely adrenal. There's a lot of good books on the subject-- James L. Wilson and G.E. Poesnecker have 2 of the best books out there. I am following GE Poesnecker's recovery protocol, and it works-- although I've had major setbacks, but it is due to the extreme emotional stress of living with an emotionally abusive alcoholic.
The gold standard for adrenal saliva testing is Diagnos-Techs, and their test is easy to do, and relatively inexpensive. The trick is to catch the adrenal fatigue in an earlier stage. It is well worth the $99. for the test.
Good luck, and good health!
Susie Y
Thanks!.... My doctor had some explanation for determining that the Epstein-Barr was in an "active" state because the level was measured against some base, because yes, you are correct.... if you've ever been exposed you'll always test "positive" at some level.
I'll check out those books!
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Hi Amber,
Did your doc do the ASI saliva test, or the ACTH stim test? The stim test will come back normal if you have adrenal fatigue, as it measures the ability of the adrenals to respond to stress. My adrenals are functioning perfectly normally, BUT they are exhausted and would test normal with the ACTH stim test. But with the ASI, where you test the cortisol/DHEA ratio over the course of a day, it will show subtle shifts in adrenal hormones that the ACTH stim test will not pick up. The ACTH stim test will show if there is an organic destruction of the adrenals. Just wanted to clarify.
Susie Y
Pages