Good weekend, until yesterday~!
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| Mon, 07-10-2006 - 9:14am |
Well, Friday afternoon I met STBX to drop off my DD 1/2 way. My DS didn't go because he and his friend had a party to go to. I was okay with that. Anyway, I did the drop off and it was a reality check. I was kind of sad when I left, still not believing that it has come to this.
Then Sat. he brought her home for the day and took DS and his friend fishing. Which, again was okay because DD doesn't like the ocean (makes her sick, LOL). So, I spent the day with DD, got her an outfit for the rehearsal dinner (she's in my cousin's wedding at the end of the month), got lunch, etc. It was nice.
So STBX comes home with the boys, cleans up the boat, etc. I had plans to go to my aunt's for the night (it was our 17th anniversary) and I wasn't sure how I'd be feeling. So I left around 6 to head to my aunt's. STBX calls and says DD doesn't want to go with him, etc. and I told him flat out she has to get used to going with you and it's only the first weekend! It ended up okay, I went to my aunt's and enjoyed the night, had a few drinks and some chinese food. Got home around 1 a.m. he he
Yesterday I was waiting for STBX to call to meet 1/2 way to get DD. I had run some errands to get some stuff for the pool etc. I get home around 4 and DD is home with STBX! STBX claims he came home to show DS how to clean the pool! As DS is cleaning the pool, STBX IS SWIMMING AND LAYING IN THE SUN! UGH! Is he that crazy?
My dad shows up, like he does every Sunday, STBX is still at the pool with DD, like just another day! He comes in, sits down on the couch and starts talking to my father! OMG! Finally, 2 hours later, he says he should be going and leaves! I mean really!
The eggshells were gone immediately once he left, that is the one thing I don't miss with him around, we (me and the kids) were constantly walking on eggshells. I have FINALLY found peace and each time I see him (holding back throwing up, LOL) something keeps telling me I have made the best decision of my life.
Sorry for the book, I had to share. Most of the weekend was good but yesterday I couldn't believe him!
Hugs, hope you all had a nice weekend!
Jenn

Hi Jenn-
That sounds about right! Do you plan on keeping the house after the divorce? The reason I ask is because as long as my ex’s name was on the deed he felt he could do whatever he wanted at my home (his former home). He went ask far as telling me I could not have any one I dated at the house because it was still “his house”. I even caught him peeing in the yard one day after he dropped my son off. He told me it was still “his property” and he could do whatever he wanted. (I wonder what his new “high society” wife would think of that!) Funny, I was the one paying the mortgage and maintaining the property. (Although, THAT is no different from when we were married!)
You need to establish boundaries, or he will continue to do as he pleases. I learned that the hard way.
Karen
And one day.... he'll treat you more respectfully and you'll be saying, "would you like to come over and swim with the kids?"
It does seem amazing the things that they'll do.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Well, you have to think of the kids. He's gone, he's not gone. Of course, you want him in their lives, but you don't want to give the kids false hope.
My ex would come over whenever he felt like it, just show up. The kids heard me in the garage fighting with him telling him he can't do that. He had to call if he was coming over to get something, etc. (The kids were upset with me!!) It was infuriating. We are two years away from that and he now knows the boundries. He knows I can hang pictures where I want to; he knows the kids don't have to be out of pajamas by 9:00 in the summer (they can even swing on the swings in them in the morning, so there!); he knows that I am not at his beck and call. He was the one having the affair, but he wanted complete control (constant fighint about this) even after he was gone.
The false hope thing as far as the kids are concerned is a very big deal and so is your privacy. This is your residence now, not his.
I hear ya... I wanted out so bad, and I was so ready to get on with my life... by myself!.... but, going out to dinner as a family, and doing those things "together".... even letting my EX give me a hug, which he still does, but only in front of the kids... has been well worth the tongue biting because the kids have dealt with the transitions magnificently.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~