Groovy67 how are you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2007
Groovy67 how are you?
2
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 7:46pm
After your post about your H and his mid-life crisis or whatever he is going through, I've been thinking about you. I was very much where you are now a while back. I just wanted you to know someone was thinking of you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2007
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 8:58am
Thank you for thinking of me. I have done some of the things that you suggested. I did try counseling and it just seemed to make me so upset that I just couldn't do it anymore. I felt like it was dredging up so much hurt and upset that I had already dealt with and put behind me. I am also looking into what I want to do for me as far as some schooling or I am looking into some business ideas that interest me. I have an attorney that I have already talked to and he is very good about taking my calls if I have questions.
It seems like H is turning a corner this week. I told him earlier in the week that I am only concerning myself with my needs and my girls. He is starting to see that he is very outside of our family. My daughters don't want a lot to do with him because he has pushed them aside for so long. He has been here and talked to us more this week than he has since he lived here. We haven't been fighting as much either. He says that he has done a lot of soul searching and realizes that he is most of the problem. I really hope that means he is finally going to try to fix this. If he doesn't though I know that I have tried everything on my end. I know that I will be OK in the end whatever the outcome. I just hate all of the crap that he has put me and our girls through. It is nice to know that there is someone out there to talk to that has been there and done that. Thanks for the advice and thinking of me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2007
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 12:56pm

Glad to hear you are taking steps for yourself.

Counselling was hard for me at first too. Things felt much worse before they started to feel better. But they did start to feel better. It was easier for me to bury the anger and hurt but be careful that stuff usually doesn't stay buried and can really come back at you.

Your H is right about one thing - he is most of the problem. Maybe he will go to counselling with you or on his own. He clearly has a wonderful wife and wonderful children and I hope for all of you he doesn't loose that.

The most important thing is you are doing what you need to do for yourself and your girls. You can go from feeling like a family in crisis to being a family with a member in crisis. At least, that is what happened with us. My children and I are doing as well as we are because I didn't allow him to drag us down.

I am sure that no matter what happens you will come out of this okay and so will your girls. A lot of us have been through this - some reconciled, some didn't. You will always find terrific support here.