Guidelines for FULL custody?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2006
Guidelines for FULL custody?
10
Sat, 03-04-2006 - 9:11pm

I know you have to be a cracked out homeless alcoholic abusing parent before they even think about NOT letting you have joint custody.

But how hard is it to get full custody?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sun, 03-05-2006 - 9:40am
Do you mean sole physical custody? From my experience and from everyone I have ever known to divorce with children, it is almost impossible. Unless the other parents does not WANT any degree of custody or visitation.
Avatar for eatatmoms
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 03-05-2006 - 12:48pm

For me it was simple, their dad walked away and told me that we both know it's best for them if I have sole custody. He's right, I have yet to meet someone as selfish as he is. He is a suicidal, porn addicted alcoholic but I'm not sure if that would have gotten his kids taken away from him if he cared.

Melanie

edited to add that their dad does have contact with them, but he moved out of state a year ago and has only seen them twice - one time for just 6 hours. He calls sporatically and I allow him as much vistiation as he'd like he just chooses not to call or make plans to see them.




Edited 3/5/2006 12:50 pm ET by eatatmoms
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 03-05-2006 - 2:15pm
i got sole physical and legal custody. My ex didnt want them or the responsibiltiy of them. He's once again walked away from them....we havent seen or heard from him since the beginning of January. Good riddance....
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2006
Sun, 03-05-2006 - 2:28pm

Since my ex filed for joint custody first, it is my understanding that, in your words, he'd have to be a crackhead not to get joint if he wants it. The courts want both parents to have responsibilities for raising their children and if both want custody, it is amost impossible to win this battle in CT. During the time I worked as a psychologist I had to attend many hearings in the NYC courts where my institutionalized patients were returned to the custody of their crackhead mother or fathers (I'm not kidding). The goal of all foster placements in NYC during the years I worked there was ALWAYS "return to parent or relative". It's pretty sick (Judge Judy Sheinlein threw a book at me once in court- before she was famous she worked in Manhattan Family Court) and the kids end up as the losers. Hope you get the info you need to mount your full-custody campaign- don't go in without loads of evidence that he's a total loser. Good luck.

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2006
Sun, 03-05-2006 - 6:54pm

So if he agreed to full custody - would he have to pay child support? Or no? Visitation would be how?

He doesn't pay child support now and believe me I work to make sure we don't rely on that money. When he pays which is hardly ever.

No I am not thinking this would be easy. Just gathering advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 03-06-2006 - 12:44am

He'd still have to pay child support with full custody. Generally the only way he'd get out of that is if he got 50/50 custody. Full custody is basically when the child resides and for legal, you get to make all decisions (schooling, etc). he'd have visitation (probably like every other weekend and 1 night a week). Or whatever you decide.


Custody is only a term....in my opinion.....some go with full physical custody and joint legal or vice versa. research what's best for you--there are a TON of links on the homepage....


good luck


Deb

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 03-06-2006 - 4:37pm

I have "sole custody".... but it was really an oversight on my part (and that of my attorney).


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 03-06-2006 - 4:39pm
How's it going, Girl?


Karen ~ wildlucky4me


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2006
Mon, 03-06-2006 - 4:46pm
I just got it. In SC it's called primary custodial parent with joint custody and all decisions concerning the child are made jointly with me having the final say. Essentially a really nice way of saying "full custody" He had every other weekend and one day every other week with some summer weeks and a week at christmas. Since he moved to MO I have decided to seek sole custody with visitation for him. My lawyer said no problem due to distance and the limited visitation my ex was seeking. It is not hard for the mother to get "full custody" in my state. You have to be a crack whore to not get it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2006
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 5:16pm

Yes, it is my understanding (and I'm NOT an atty) that haing full custody doesn't affect alimony- IF you win it. I heard that only 2% of all divorce agreements include alimony. Get ready to prove your need (it isn't as easy as you might think). Good luck.

Laura