Guilt about divorcing: Did/Do you fe...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Guilt about divorcing: Did/Do you fe...
6
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 2:26pm

Guilt about divorcing: Did/Do you feel it? Post if you want to explain more.



  • Yes
  • Some
  • No


You will be able to change your vote.



Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 2:32pm
We had a great post about this by konline...



How deal w/ GUILT b/c I'm one leaving?

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 4:55pm

I felt like I let down my kids.


I filed for divorce after he had been gone for 10 months.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2005
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 6:11pm
This divorce is soley my decision. I'm scared out of my mind, but years of neglect and never having any affection just finally caught up with me. I'd asked for counceling for years and he never would go. Now that I've filed for divorce he's going to counceling and everytime we have to see each other because of the kids, he tells me how much he loves me and how he can change. Then he goes from being hurt and talking nicely to being hateful and telling me that all I care about is myself...that I don't care about our children, or I wouldn't be doing this. I was absolutely miserable with him. I was having to take anti depressents and they weren't even keeping me from crying all the time. I hated to come home and even be in the same room with him. I feel guilty for being so happy that he is gone while I know that he is so sad and alone. He has no one. I have friends to support me and give me comfort and advice. I love my kids more than my life, but know they will be happier if I am. He says I'm trying to take them away from him...and that if I loved them I would stay and make the marriage work for them. I look at him with a mixture of pity, contempt and bordering hatred. I really can't stand to be around him. But when I see how desperate he is and how miserable he is, I feel guilty for wanting better for myself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2003
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 8:00pm
I like the "some" choice. I felt a lot of guilt at first, even though I knew it was an irrational, conditioned feeling. By the time I got my head on straight (and the x showed his true colors a few more times)it was gone for good.
Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 10:19pm

I voted yes about having guilt about divorcing... for me, it is more guilt for Joey... just in that I never wanted this for him... but, I typically feel that these days when it gets tough, not in general... I know that he's doing well and that he will continue to do well, and perhaps better than he would have done with parents that argued a lot, a daddy who (in Mommy's opinion) didn't respect Mommy... not to mention a daddy who (again, in Momm's opinion) only likes to take him out of his box to play when he's ready and then puts him away for several days/weeks at a time...

*hugs*

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 10:30pm

Hey Julie!


Nice to *see* you around!

Hugs~ Lexi

"Shoot for the moon and if you miss you will still be among the stars" ~ Les Brown