Guilt.....guilt....GUILT!!
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| Sun, 04-23-2006 - 8:12am |
OK....last night ex shows up at the door to drop DS off. Normally, he just lets him come in and drives away. So he stands there and starts counting out cash for child support. Okkkaaayyyy....then he starts counting out change to give me also! So I ask him what he's doing, and he tells me that his bank account is overdrawn (he was just paid on Friday), so he had to get cash to pay me, and he has no money until he gets paid again in two weeks. This is the man that makes twice as much as I do, and just bought a house. I felt so horrible standing there as he counted out the change...I asked him if he needed to short the payment so he could have money, and he said no, he didn't want to be accused of not paying on time...etc.
I STILL feel guilty about this man's financial screw ups! Plus, I noticed on our new financial affidavits the other day that he has run up 14k in NEW debt since we sold our house two months ago! I know I'm not supposed to worry about him and how he will survive, but if he screws up, it inevitably has an impact on our son.
However, I must say, it is kind of a relief to no longer be dragged down by his spending habits and mishandling of money. It used to drive me crazy and stress me out so much, it was unbelieveable.
Siiighhhh...I just had to get all that out. I need to work better on letting things go and really disengaging.

What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Oh my... I see the dilemma. But just like I would suggest you would do with a child, allow him to have his natural consequenses. If one of my kids spent all their money and didn't have anything left for something else they wanted/needed they would just be out of luck. One can only hope that this time he'll learn his lesson :). My ex gave me the song and dance all summer last year before he started paying child support. He was too broke, yet he lived rent free with his parents and was getting paid $2 an hour more than I was! You are doing great, hang in there and keep thinking about how happy you are that his financial mess is not your problem anymore.
Mel
also! So I ask him what he's doing, and he tells me that his bank account is overdrawn (he was just paid on Friday), so he had to get cash to pay me, and he has no money until
I get this kind of stuff from my STBX all the time too.
Carol, In love with the most beautiful woman in the world.
I would never again make that offer to him!!! I don't see why he wouldn't take advantage of you> You should never allow him to put you in that position.
I'm sooooo happy to be entering divorce debt free...SOOOOOO Happy!