H was so nice today. Why now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2005
H was so nice today. Why now.
2
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 1:42am
Why can he be so sweet some times. I get all ready to move and then he is sweet and makes me want to stay. I have been struggling with my college algebra class. I had a bunch of work due tomorrow that was killing me. I have spent weeks and can not figure it out. He came in here at five and asked me if I needed help. He stayed in here and helped me until after midnight. If it was not for the cheating, lying, and sex obsession I could stay. I had to remind myself why I want out. He can be such a good person and father. Why can't he grow up and be an adult. He does not want to stop his bad actions. If he would just stop we could have a long happy marriage. It makes me want to cry when he is so nice. I know it will not last. He will be on the phone as soon as he thinks I am asleep just like last night. I felt him get up and come see if I was awake. Then he headed down stairs into the cold garage to talk on his phone. I went and peaked out the door and he said he was just looking for something and talking to himself. Yeah I talk to myself while holding the phone. Get real. By now I know why I am leaving. It took a post to remind me fully.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2006
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 1:57am
yeah I think it hurts even worse when they cheat at the same time they are nice to us too. Mine said once lately when all this came out, he said he should be a polygimist sp? then he could have us both
OH Yeah right!! I think NOT ...........
just try to remember you can find a faithful man that is nice too!
I just dont know if I would ever want to marry again. Maybe if I date I will get into a monogomous relationship with a man and he can come over, spend time, take me out....etc then go home to his own house....... LOL
I just dont know if I want to be under someones watch....ie did I do this right? did I do that right? Did I get the clothes washed? How much money did I spend ? why did I sleep in so long? Why cant he have sex more often than once a week, why why why....... yadda yadda yadda
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2007
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 8:39am

Do you think that he's nice when he's feeling a little guilty? Do you think that he could possibly be getting it? Sometimes I think that my H is getting it, then the next day he says something so off base that it makes me wonder. I'm just glad that we are going to start counseling.

Is he against counseling? He could honestly believe that his actions aren't "bad," and therefore doesn't want to change. Maybe counseling could help him understand the root of some of these behaviors. My husband's parents really did a number on him. They basically taught him to lie or to get in trouble. He's just carried that over into our lives. It's very frustrating for me b/c I uphold honesty/trust as one of the most important values.

Good luck.

S