Had a bad day yesterday....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2008
Had a bad day yesterday....
4
Wed, 04-23-2008 - 6:18am

....because of a horrible back-and-forth email with H. Basically he writes me an email saying he's going out (pro sporting event) Wed. & Sat. evenings. Nice buddy. Because then he's never available on Thurs. & Fri. evenings because he "works late." Which actually means he hangs out at work, while his employees do the work, and then he has an excuse to not be available unless it's something he wants to do (like leave town to visit his family or go to some other event he'll claim is work related). That has been going on for 2+ years. So I've been on my own those nights.


But what ticked me off is basically he can have a social life. He can lay down what HIS schedule is and I'm just supposed to go with it. He knows the kids are with me and it's no skin off his back that they don't see him or that I could use a little down time. And then he says things like I'm being selfish with the access he has to our children (um, excuse me buddy--you're the one who won't tell me where you're staying, won't get an apartment so you can have proper visitation and is choosing night's out rather than time with your children) or that I'm a

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2008
Wed, 04-23-2008 - 8:41am

*HUGS* to you.. I think I can relate somewhat to how you are feeling. It is hard to be the one who is responsible for taking care of so many things. Children are a huge responsibility - no matter how much we love them. It takes a toll having to always be the one who is there for them. No one is perfect and being SuperMom is highly over-rated.


My STBX just moved out yesterday and when I got home last night I could already feel the weight of responsibility on me. I too love my kids more than anything - they are wonderful children. However, I am now essentially a single parent (as it sounds like you are too for all practical purposes). It is a huge responsibility and a lot of work.


Give yourself a break if you can - if you can't go out maybe you can have a friend come over. Or hire a babysitter for yourself and go out with your girlfriends. Don't feel guilty about taking time for yourself. You derserve it and you *need* it!


So HUGS and hope that today is a better day. Have you been able to reach out to a coworker? one of my friends at the office is the best support person I have.. and it helps to have someone around who knows what is going on with me.


*HUUUUGS*


~Hurtnlost

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 04-23-2008 - 11:14am

I know how you feel because when I got div. from DH #1, our kids were only 7 & 1, so obviously couldn't be left alone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 04-23-2008 - 12:25pm
We have stipulated dates in our parenting agreement.

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2008
Wed, 04-23-2008 - 3:00pm

Thanks for the input and support ladies. I know I'm not the first woman to ever face this (far from it), but when you're knee deep and drowning in it for the first time, it is SO overwhelming. Not that I need to tell anyone here that.


I decided to take his approach and sent him a non-emotional, matter-of-fact