Happy for him, sad for me
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| Thu, 09-22-2005 - 5:37pm |
Hi Everybody,
I lurk/post on several other IV boards, but this one seems most appropriate for my current question.
I have been divorced for about 5 years now. It was kind of a friendly divorce, if there is such a thing. He fell for someone else, then she dumped him, but by then it was too late for me to be able to take him back even though he would have come back. I know he's bitterly regretful and he's a good father and even a good friend to me. Many of my friends think he still loves me. But I can't do it, and wouldn't consider getting back together with him. The issues that drove him away from me still exist.
Now, he's getting remarried -- to his high school sweetheart, who he got back in touch with a couple of years ago. She's a lovely woman and my daughter adores her.
So what's the problem? His remarriage is stirring up all kinds of emotion for me. I think it's because I recall how happy we were once, and we really were blissfully happy for a long time. Here he is getting remarried and I can't even find anybody to date. I keep coming across things in my house -- the ticket stub from our first date. A gift he gave me once. The wedding china (yes, I read that thread too) that he actually picked out. I am generally happy, I like my independent life, but feel like my best years are here now and I have no one to share them with. Tried online dating for about 5 years, met a bunch of players and freaks. Just don't have the energy for it anymore.
Is it harder to move on when you don't hate the other person?

No... in fact, I think it's harder when you do hate the other person because you're harboring a lot of resentment.... even when you don't think it plays a part, it can.
I think that your better judgement is reminding you that you made the right decision when you divorced him.... and finding that right person sometimes just takes time.... and when you least expect it, you'll find that right person.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~