Hard to move on
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Hard to move on
| Wed, 11-16-2005 - 8:29am |
Hi there. It's been a while since I posted. After a 3+ year court battle, I find myself divorced and now married to a wonderful man. So why am I still so agitated by my ex? He continues to play games, he tells my husband what a b**** I am, he leaves me nasty messages still. Why can't I just accept that he will always be annoying? Could it be that it is just my nature to expect people to be nice? I don't understand why some people are always so angry and bitter. I am so tired of the continued games. What purpose do games and bitterness play? Any comments are welcome.

I read about something like this in Dear Abby. A woman said that she'd been divorced for four years -- her husband had cheated on her and now he was happily married to the OW. But every time he saw his ex-wife, he was angry and nasty. She asked Dear Abby why? Abby said it's called "blame the victim;" that he refused to admit to himself that what he did was wrong and that he was a cheater, so he turned all his anger on her.
Of course I don't know the details of your case, but this makes sense to me.
Barb S.
Wow. That so makes sense. Thank you so much Barb. For some reason, that makes me feel so much better. I've been struggling with this so much, but it really "fits the bill". My ex has been blaming me for so many of his own problems. It was so absurd - when he was diagnosed medicine for his behavioral disorder, he told me that it would only be "fair" if I had to take medicine too. He argued about everything, but told me that I was argumentative. The fact that he is still so mean to me just puzzled me, but now, I understand that he is angry at himself, and he, therefore, takes out his anger on me.
Thank you.