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| Sun, 02-11-2007 - 1:15am |
Ok I have a question for you all and I know you wont judge me. Have any of you just wanted sex from your STBX. We are on OK terms these day and yesterday I called him just for basically sex. We met at our house, did the deed, and I went back to my parents and he went on with his business. At first I thought oh my gosh I shouldnt have done that but he is still my husband at least for another month or two and we never had a problem in that area except for lack of (3 kids will do that to a marriage). I would not mind another round but I just wonder if we keep this up if 1. it will hurt more when he does bring me the papers, 2. It will bring us back together and my family will never forgive me. 3. He is sleeping with someone else and when I find out it will crush me more. I dont know if I am doing it so he will stay or if hey I just need it. I dont want this divorce but deep down I know that this is the best thing for me and my babies. My oldest told the school counselor the other day that we have been fighting her whole life. Is it fair to expose them to that for a roll in the hay every once in a while. One plus is he did give me money and agreeded to the child support money that I need. He always was easier to get along with afterward. I am so confused just looking for some advice.
Thanks so much
Mary

I do not recommend continuing to sleep with your stbx during the divorce process--you need to draw lines and boundaries, so you truly begin being on your own and sex is one of those things that does need to stop. It can confuse you and it could confuse the kids, if they found out (which they shouldn't, but could)... It may make it hurt more when papers are delivered... it may give someone false hope that you're getting back together when your not... and on that third reason, he could be sleeping with someone else now and you're opening yourself up to stds...
If you truly believe that this divorce is the best thing for you and your children then you have to stand up and draw the line in the sand...
Good Luck...
Thanks for your advice, I know that it is wrong but why do I still want to? I am going to stop I know that it is wrong. Thanks so much for your advice.
Mary
Been there done that.
Susan
"Success is building a foundation wit
Woah! In my state you could not get divorced if you had a roll in the hay -- that immediately cancels out the separation and one has to be separated (in every way) for one year! Your state must be different.
Careful ...
Sounds like mixed feelings (and that is normal), but I guess I would go for marriage counseling before a roll in the hay to determine my feelings about whether to try to save the marriage.
At least talk with your own counselor!
GL,
M
Wrong that you want to? No not at this point... it is what you've known for a long time and it seems normal, natural and comfortable to do so... I don't think there's anything wrong in that... but over time that will change... I can't imagine sleeping with my xh now... ewwwww... :)
Its hard, but believe it or not, it will make the healing easier...
*hugs*
Julie
I guess that backwards Alabama it is OK. I honestly have not checked but I am thinking it was a one time "goodbye". Only advantage I see besides the obvious is he is much nicer afterwards :) Oh well I hopefully wont have anymore desires to do so
Thanks again for you advice
Mary