Having a bad day...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Having a bad day...
5
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 11:02am

Well, my anger is starting to wear off and what is replacing it? Depression and neediness. Seriously, what is wrong with me??? I just got off the phone with STBX and I feel like crap. Long story short: He needed a place to stay, I gave it to him. Of course all the old routines and friendliness were there. Throw in some jealously over this girl he was seeing before and we are in bed together. He tells me 2 days before he moves out that he only loves me and no one will ever be me, blah, blah, blah. He tells me he is moving in with this guy and this whole big story. I find out 2 weeks later that he's actually living with old gf. Now, I am furious that he betrayed and lied to me but, he is claiming things were weird with us, he was mad at me for going out all the time and wanted to get away from me. So, he says he is living with old gf as just friends. He's been saying it and I don't know if he's telling the truth or not but, I feel miserable. I'm not angry anymore, I'm just sad. What the hell does that say about me? I have no self respect. I keep thinking things will be different, over and over again and I always get the rug pulled out from under me. And, I have no right to say anything about his relationships, it's not like I'm staying at home pining away for him. This is just so hard, harder than I ever thought it would be. I wish my therapy session was today! You guys will have to do in the mean time :)

Thanks for listening,
Jessica

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Registered: 12-11-2003
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 11:54am


I guess today is the day to mourn. I'm having a bad day myself, I wish I was in therapy, but I need to move first. I don't understand why it's so hard on us either, but I guess that's part of life's plan for us. We can all do it if we stick together, friends is the main thing going for me right now, if it wasn't for family and friends I would have never have made it this far, and I still feel like I have along way to go.
Just say it over and over "Everthing happens for a reason" "Life goes on" I say these little boosters when I get down it helps a little, life throws some horrible things at us, and I believe if we couldn't make it through these things, then they wouldn't be there to challenge us. Just think if we can do this, we as women can do anything! That puts a little smile on my face, I hope your smiling too. Today is my 26 B-day, now that's depressing, have a good day!! I'll check back with you later.

Stacy

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Registered: 02-19-2004
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 1:16pm

You are still emotionally connected to him so it's easy to give in and be jerked around by him.

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Registered: 10-11-2005
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 2:00pm
Good advice except this particular saying "Everthing happens for a reason" is the one his gf would use in her email to him. So now I see it as ironic that a girl that sleeps with a married man would use this quote.
I really gotta get over this....
Avatar for eatatmoms
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 3:24pm

I think a better saying for you may be - What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I've lived this and it's so true. Four years ago (exactly - to the day) my stbx told me he didn't love me, never did, didn't find me attractive and never did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2003
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 3:43pm

Well said Melanie, I like that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, my new phrase. That should keep us going. Good for you!!

Stacy