Having a difficult day
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Having a difficult day
| Fri, 08-17-2007 - 3:21pm |
We had a long marriage. Now we have had a long seperation. He has been with the OW all this time. I am suppose to be getting the D done. How strange ,huh? My heart never wanted to do this. I guess he does not do it because he will loose money ?? I guess. He wants it all his way.
I feel bad today. No confidence. Tears still flow easily. Hurt is exhausting. So how do I keep from giving up on myself. How do I really get thru this. Wish there was a"FADE" button and I could just push it and go on to something else.
I feel bad today. No confidence. Tears still flow easily. Hurt is exhausting. So how do I keep from giving up on myself. How do I really get thru this. Wish there was a"FADE" button and I could just push it and go on to something else.

I don't know. Not btdt. But, my heart goes out to you. Do you have kids with him? That makes it hard to fade it out. Don't know what to say, other than be the grown-up and, as you say, get it done.
GL,
M
No, no, no, no, no! You are not trash or anything like that. Honey, this is about him. Yes, the high road hurts like hell. Cannot tell you how hard it is for me to swallow all this pain and treat him civilly.
There is a good book I think you might appreciate: Spiritual Divorce -- how to take care of you when dealing with the ending (and new beginning). Also, please look for a DivorceCare group (they are on the web)--lots of churches offer the group and it can be a wonderful support and base for launching a new life.
It takes two to marry and one to chuck it -- that is so unfair, but it is what it is, so we gotta take what we are handed and make it into something we can love -- our new lives -- hey, take control of the divorce if he is so passive and get what you need for you and your kids--there is something to be said for crafting the settlement and parenting plan for your best outcome.
Hugs,
M
I hear you on the "fade" button. I'm having a bad morning myself. STBX went away for the weekend to visit with his sister, and a friend of mine came down to visit me for the weekend. It was lovely to have someone to keep me company and love me, and to have a girly sleepover, but now that she's gone and he's back, I feel more alone than ever. I don't know how I'm going to survive when I move out and am truly on my own all the time. I sobbed off and on for the last few hours, and the thought of dragging myself out of bed and going to work with all those responsibilities is really not helping. I feel like someone scrambled my insides, and I feel like I will never be whole again. I want for this to all be over. And in the meantime, I know that he has at least one other woman he is seeing (a skinny blonde, of course), and that he has already moved on, even though we haven't even started the divorce yet.
I feel pathetic for being this broken over someone I've only been married to for a year. How can he move on with his life so easily when I feel like I've lost everything?
{{{hugs}}} We will get through this. We will be strong, even when we feel like we can't hold ourselves together any longer, and we will reclaim our lives. We deserve better than this pain, and we will find it. You're not alone.