Having an Emotional Setback
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Having an Emotional Setback
| Thu, 06-07-2007 - 1:36am |
Hi all! I have not posted in a while because, well, I've just been very busy being a single mom to two boys and returning student. Anyhoo...I have been super strong and successful during this incredible ordeal (caught husband cheating w/coworker and he then ran off with her!) and am pretty close to the end. We have our separation agreement hammered out and after thats done I will consent to an immediate divorce (husband is a cheating rat and MD rewards the adulterer with an immediate divorce). I really have been well but, all the sudden, I am filled with all this hate and rage again. I'm awake right now because, I had this horrible nightmare about my stbxh and his skank girlfriend ruining my life and making me insane (I woke up when my dream had me in the back of a poliece car with maggots all over me...charming, right?!?!!? I did get to dream about assaulting her...sadly, I didn't enjoy it because, everhting in the dream was soooo creepy and horrible) I need a bit of help clearing my mind and getting back to a good place emotionally. Any words of wisdom? I need them, please!!!! My husband is just such a heartless a**. I have been dealing with him alot lately and the stress of getting this agreement signed is REALLY getting to me!!!! Help!

Yep, those dreams (nightmares) will get you down. Been there, done that! I dream my hubby is sitting on my back and I can't breath. Gee, let's see...I have supported him for 26 years, I've "taken care" of him (his has acute chronic back pain) even when he "self medicates", I've made excuses to family and friends for him, I've attended all kinds of outings alone because he "didn't feel good" ( yet could go out with his friends).
I think it IS kind of like carrying a weight on my back. Before I left 10 months ago I was having really bad anxiety attacks at night. Dr. told me I needed to get rid of whatever was causing the stress or it was going to kill me. The emotional roller coaster and verbal abuse were literally affecting my health. I've only had this dream twice in the 10 months I have been alone. Oh, yeah, I get lonely, but I also sleep really good now!!
Hang in there, it does get better.
Hugs 2 u
T
Amyality,
Having nightmares is a common sign of post tramatic stress syndrome. It can get pretty serious and going through a divorce is a great way to get it. (I am in the same situation myself). I have found that journalling my emotions, including my EXACT feelings about my soon-to-be-ex-husband (stbxh) has aliviated the nightmares. If you aren't used to this, just buy a cheap spiral notebook from Wal-Mart or any other store and just write, don't judge yourself on spelling, grammer or 'whether you are feeling correct emotions.' If you are having trouble beginning it is alway easier to get in touch with your emotions by asking yourself a question, any question will get you started.
I hope that helps you the way it has helped me.
shaney13