having a hard time

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2005
having a hard time
1
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 12:48pm

my stbx is taking the kids to cottage with his gf this weekend..apparently there will be another couple there as well...no kids..they have only seen her twice for an hour at a time.

I have had the hardest time with the kids about this..my 8 yr old dd..got on the phone to her dad & told him she didnt want her to come..she told him she wanted to spend time with him alone...his response (to me) was I have spent the last 10 mos alone with the kids...
my 6 yr old dd said she thinks she might call her "mom"..and she is afraid of that (she is reallly screwed up by the split)
my 6 yr old dd just doesn't want to go...afraid he will miss mom too much

I have repeatedly told them that they will have good time, mommy is working anyways, they will have fun with Dad..

now - my concern..sleeping arrangements..I assumed that he would not sleep with her..I mentioned this to him ..he hadn't even thought about it...
he is not the most responsible about having sex discreetly..so I told him there would be trouble if the kids came home & said they caught them having sex (the kids don't sleep through the night)
he said it's not going to happen...he said he will stay with the kids 'til they fall asleep....??

they are so fragile right now..my 8 yr old dd is so stressed out...my therapist has seen the kids & he doesnt think they can handle much more change..that is what the 8yr old is concerned about..last night she started crying before bed & said she didnt want to go..she said "I don't like change"...I felt awful..I just reassured her that she would have fun & that her dad would be there..

I'm again concerned about things I can't change..if the other couple is there too..what is going to be going on with them???

I just needed to vent..

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Sun, 11-13-2005 - 1:44pm

Maybe it would be good to get the children their own therapist to work through some of these issues.

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