Having surgery on Monday

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Having surgery on Monday
15
Fri, 12-05-2008 - 11:08am
ON MOnday I get to have a D&C (2nd one) and guess who is driving me to the hosp & picking me up? Yes, STBX. I didn't really want to ask him, but really there is noone else since DD isn't home. I have no relatives in the area and I really didn't want to ask my 77 yr old aunt to drive an hour to do this. Orig, he said that he would sit in the waiting room, but then my dr said that I have to go at 8:00 a.m. and won't be out until about 12:00 so he can just drop me off & then go home. He only lives a few mins. from the hospital anyway. So I realized that I can never really get sick cause there is no one to take care of me or even drive me to appts. I guess I better take care of myself.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2008
Fri, 12-05-2008 - 11:28am

Prayers and Hugs to you!

Rachel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2003
Fri, 12-05-2008 - 11:44am

Thinking of you and hoping all goes well.

Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 12-05-2008 - 12:36pm
Good luck!

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 12-05-2008 - 12:37pm
Oh I know he will be nice. It's amazing how since the separation, his behavior has improved 100% and he keeps saying he's sorry he "ruined my life." Yesterday he changed the storm door from the screen to the glass. He asked to come over to get a printer, changed the door and then spent some time telling me about his problems w/ his DD, then forgot the printer. If he had acted like this before, then we wouldn't have had to get divorced, but it's just too late now to go back.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2003
Sat, 12-06-2008 - 3:35am
Hi Musiclover!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2008
Sat, 12-06-2008 - 10:29am
Oh do I understand this. I recently fell and broke my elbow and shoulder. I had to have surgery and so ex had to take me. I also have no one else. So when I had to take myself to get the staples out, I totaled my jeep. It's been several weeks. I haven't been working, so I don't need the daily drive to work, but just for groceries or meds. I can't even start physical therapy because I have no ride. Good luck with your surgery.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 12-06-2008 - 7:30pm
Oh, that is terrible. I remember when DD was too young to drive, she had to have p.t. for her knee and at that time, STBX wasn't working, so he had to drive her there. She probably hated that and he was uncomfortable that she didn't talk to him. Sometimes there might agencies that will pick you up for dr's appts if you can't drive. Maybe your dr would know of one.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sun, 12-07-2008 - 1:25pm

Good luck with your surgery! I can understand why you're not happy having to rely on your STBX. I know it's easy to say that we need to develop support systems outside of our exs/STBXs, but sometimes, that takes time.

Be patient with yourself and I hope you have a speedy recovery.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 12-09-2008 - 10:20am
Thanks. I did survive. The doctor said everything went ok. Yesterday I just went home & went to bed until dinner time (which was frozen dinners). Do you know how strange STBX is? I had told him that I wouldn't be out til 12:00 (he dropped me off at 8:00) so he should just go home or go somewhere, since they could call him on his cell phone anyway. There was no reason to wait at the hospital, besides it's in the same town, so he only lives 10 minutes away. Then the doctor had to do someone else's surgery first, so I got started late, so before I went in, I called & told him I wouldn't be ready until 1:00. So instead of going home, I think he sat in the car in the parking lot. Mind you, it was about 20 degrees out which doesn't bother him because he likes the cold. I think he was reading a book but really, why not go home & read or watch TV in comfort at home? He is just very stubborn. Anyway, I feel ok today, but I am taking another day off from work. I don't need people bothering me and my son is home sick w/ a cold anyway, so I don't really know how much rest I"ll get.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Tue, 12-09-2008 - 3:56pm

I'm glad you're recovering well and feel OK. It's too bad your son is sick at the same time! Such is the life a a mom...we rarely have time to recover ;)

If I had to guess, your STBX stuck around the hospital because he still cares about you...a lot. He probably wanted to be there on the off chance that something went wrong.

But don't worry about him right now! Focus on your recovery. I hope you're 100% soon.




Edited 12/9/2008 3:56 pm ET by justiceandtruth

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