Having "The Talk"

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2005
Having "The Talk"
12
Thu, 03-24-2005 - 4:13pm

Our talk about seperating is right around the corner, and I want to make sure everything I feel and why I feel it is communicated to my H. My problem is that I get anxious and I don't always present my self well when under pressure and I always forget to say things or they just don't come out they way I inted. I am trying to think of a resolution, and the only thing I can come up with is putting my thoughts on paper, letting him read them and then discussing. Has anyone done something like this before? My other thought is just to put some thoughts on paper and then refer to the paper as we talk.. it just seems so weird but I don't want to miss anything. Ok, can you tell that communication is one of our problems???? ugh... I hate this.

The other issue I am having is that I am feeling a tremendous amount of guilt for not being in love with my h anymore. I know he makes me feel like everything is my fault and I know it isn't, but I can't help but feel like it is me who is tearing the family apart. For some weird reason my H is perfectly content with being unhappy and having no intimacy in our relationship. A piece of me wishes he would initiate the seperation, so I don't feel like I am being selfish for wanthing to be happy!

Thanks for listening!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2005
Mon, 03-28-2005 - 10:49am
We have gone to counseling in the past (about 4 years ago) and I did agree to try one more time before we call it quits.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Mon, 03-28-2005 - 2:46pm
im glad to hear it. like i said, im not saying you should stay married, i just think its only fair to the partner to give them a try to fix things. i also feel like if you dont give it a try you may end up regretting it later and wonder if you left to soon. let us know how it goes!
good luck
:)

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