Having a terrible time...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2002
Having a terrible time...
1
Mon, 05-06-2013 - 4:35pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2010
Mon, 05-06-2013 - 7:26pm

Reading your post, it was interesting that you never once called your husband's "drinking problem" by its real name: alcoholism. Have you done research into alcoholism, or attended an Al-Anon meeting, or talked to him about getting treatment? You mentioned that some of his relatives are "recovering", did you ever talk with them about what is going on, ask if they had any insight or suggestions, etc? Its kind of funny that you were mortified to see the relatives with him when he was wasted, considering that they would understand better than anybody what was going on.

If your H realized that the marriage could end over his drinking, and he was willing to get help, would you be willing to give him another chance and support him through recovery?

My first thought was that you vowed to stay by him "in sickness and in health" and he is sick....but he has to make the first move to confront his disease, and you two have let the relationship spiral pretty far out of control. My suggestion is, before you make any decisions, to get counseling to understand your own choices---why you went ahead with the wedding, why you behaved the way you did during the marriage, if there is any chance of the marriage working/any point in trying, basically anything you can do to feel like you've given it your best shot. You don't want to have any more future regrets than you already do.