Having a tough day

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2002
Having a tough day
Wed, 11-09-2011 - 1:31pm

Good Morning. I am really having a tough day. I think it is because the last couple of days everyone I have been around is starting to talk about what they are doing for the holidays. I still haven't filed the divorce paperwork yet. I really

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 11-09-2011 - 4:39pm

The holidays are really a tough time for people who are recently separated or divorced--your previous routine is all broken up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2006
Thu, 11-10-2011 - 9:02am
Stay strong. Don't call him. I understand how hard this time of year is and how even though you know leaving is the right/best thing for you, you still miss him.

After 24 years of marriage my divorce was finalized this past June. I was the one who filed. And even though my ex brought the divorce on himself through many years of domestic abuse, I still remember and long for the good times we had.

I have been tempted so many times to reach out to him with an email or something. But I know that in doing so it will only prolong the hurt of our separation.

I'll echo musiclovers sentiment, try to surround yourself with family and/or friends during this difficult time. Try to focus on the reasons you left him for strength. I know that I tend to forgot those bad times and remember the good. Which makes things harder. But the reality is times were not good. And if I had remained in that marriage I would be miserable.

Sometimes it feels like you just can't win. Stay and be miserable, leave and be miserable. But in spite of the tough days I have, I still have many good ones where I know I did the right thing and I'm glad on those days that I didn't reach out to him when I was having a tough day.

*hugs to you*