hb moved out yesterday..left 2 kids :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
hb moved out yesterday..left 2 kids :(
2
Thu, 06-08-2006 - 4:09pm
Hb of 3.5 yrs moved out yesterday at 5:30am!! Packed his clothes and the essentials and left. This wasn't unexpected - he "freaks out" every 2 months or so. The last time was Easter.
I'm really, really tired of this. We have two small children - 3.5yrs and 11 months. I have been at home with them since I was pregnant with the first, which is our entire married life.
We make it on his income....we live OK, we don't suffer for anything, but we aren't flying to Mexico this winter or anything.

So, here I am. My heart is somewhat broken...I don't think it's exactly him I miss. I miss the idea of my family and all the things I thought were supposed to happen. But when I think of doing all those things with HIM, I know that I won't enjoy myself. So, why do I feel sad?? I also feel a bit Angry. He will use our children. I know this from watching him deal with his other son and his mom (hb ex-girlfriend).
He will probabley hire a babysitter or leave them at his parent's house the weekends that he has them. He hasn't asked for anything more than every other weekend. 2 days out of 14!!! That is sick. It's not like he is staying far away. It's perhaps a 10 minute drive.
I can see where he works from where I live. Why do men get to walk away so easy??? Does anyone else feel that. I feel pissed about that.
He told me to go and get a job....I don't have a problem doing that....I do have a problem leaving my 10 month old at a Daycare. There is a serious child-care shortage where I live...in fact when I called to ask about getting them into dayhomes, I was asked if I'd thought of doing it!!
Anyways, I just want anyone's advice. I feel a bit lost today...and kinda overwhelmed.
I don't want to end up behind in all the bills cuz I didn't move quickly enough. I don't know where to get started.
help!!!
monocco
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Thu, 06-08-2006 - 6:13pm
take a deep breath and let it out. Take some time for yourself every day at least 10 minutes. Think about what is best. Then think about what you want. You know starting a home care is not a bad idea. Its easy to get started. There are plenty of places to help out. Starting is a good step. Where to start is easy, You think of what the first thing you and your children need. Go from there. You can make you stbx pay for some things. All you have to do is breathe and look at things calmly. You will be fine. Just take your time. Good luck, we are always here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 06-09-2006 - 11:45am

Yes, I think most of us go through the feelings of "why does he just get to move on and start over?" It's infuriating at best. I am like you...when I feel sad it is because I miss the IDEA and PICTURE of family and not my stbx. Like yours, he has freaked out periodically (and many times around Christmas so I've had a lot of ruined holidays) and like you, I am just tired. I think once you make some decisions for your new life (employment, see a lawyer etc) you'll be much better. Facing a future of the unknown is a bit daunting. Once I got a few ideas in place, I felt better. Good luck and keep coming back.

kimberly