He is an A$$$$HOLEE.................

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
He is an A$$$$HOLEE.................
13
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 10:29am

I cant stand him. Ooooohhhh, he makes me sick. I stuck to my word about giving him the pictures and I can tell you I will NEVER attempt to give him any more again. To hell with him. The three of us got downstairs ofcourse he was late as usual. He and his gf arrive, I had the two pics in an envelope and wrote daddy on it. I went to hand it to him and he looked at it, like it was a bomb or something. It wasnt sealed. He just stared at it and then said I dont want that. I said oh, you dont want these and pulled part of the pics out a bit so he could see it wasnt a letter or something from me, he just turned and began to walk away, so I said fine. That s.o.b. Who the hell does he think he is. Like anything I do for the baby isnt good enough. The baby wanted to take his little bookbag with him, so I put one of his toys in it and let him take it. Not his school bookbag, what do they do, when they come back ofcourse they had to buy the baby a name brand bookbag. The bookbag I sent for him was no where to be found, his gf asks me if he really likes the other bookbag b/c he saw that one and fell in love with it, I wanted to say what the f do you think. But I just said yes he does then she gets if from jerks backpack and gives it to me.

I cant stand that man. He was an hour and 10min late and had the nerve to act like it was nothing, saying I'll see you tomorrow baby. The court order says more than 30 min late and the next visit is cancelled.

Here we go. From the beginning he has always been late, always. I havent complained even though I wanted to, but this time was ridiculous. So my guy friend said how about calmly letting him know look can you try to be on time b/c when your late if affect things I have to do. I was nice about it and ofcourse he took it to the nasty level. So I said look, by the court order tomorrows visit is cancelled because of how late you were, he says well I called you so Im in the clear. I told him to read no. 6 of the order, he said he isnt reading nothing, I said that's fine but if your asking if you can still get him you need to bring him back on time, he stated again he knows he will be late, he's using public transportation and cant control that. Says he wishes I would try to cancel his visit and hung up.

7:30am sunday, he calls me asking what am I gonna do, I repeated about what the court order says he asked about when will be the make up I told him I have to get back to him, and told him with all the rain today if you were getting him you'd have to take the umbrella stroller anyway and he said he's not taking it, the baby will be fine. He doesnt use an umbrella, says he cant be bothered carrying one, has never used one when we were together. I said in the furture if it's raining bad and windy Im sending it, it's for the baby's protection. He said if I do send it, it wont be coming back. I just hung up the phone. Is this man not psychotic or what. There is two of them, what's the big deal with using an umbrella stroller to protect your child from the heavy wind and rain? He makes me sick.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Tue, 03-14-2006 - 8:39am

You know I never looked at it from that perspective, that he will do whatever he can to show me that I no longer have any control over his life. But he's an idiot b/c I could see if I were trying to "control" him. Im just looking out for the baby's best interests. Even if I would have presented the stroller issue the way you mentioned, he would have still had a problem with it. It's like anything, anything I say is garbage and it's a real problem. When he took it a few times in the past he complained how it was too diffucult to manage on the bus or train. Like a little pansy or something. He's a damn man or is supposed to be. I've seen little 16 yr old girls handle a stroller, younger baby than my son and a diaper bag alone. So who the heck does he think he is. What makes it worse it that it's him and his girlfriend. So how hard can it be. I do it alone. It's not like I want him to take it every single time only when it's raining.

Why he thinks I still have an interest in his life is beyond me. I dont call him ask him for help, nothing. I dont even call him when he has the baby b/c I dont want him to "think" Im imposing on "his time" but since he hasnt called me for the baby to talk to me I will see about getting the CO modified where I too can call to speak to the baby. Im hoping that they will also add in taking the umbrella stroller when it's raining for the baby that way he cant get rid of it. What kind of man/father will throw away their child's stroller. How much of a b@$%ard can he be. What was the problem with me asking him to take it when it protects the baby from the rain. Cant he see all I care about is the baby's interest, to hell with him. It makes no sense.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Tue, 03-14-2006 - 10:52am

Most CO's will offer a telephone clause if the child is away overnight or for longer than 48 hours. He has only had the child for 7 hour stretches, do you really need to talk to him during that time? PLus he has so little time with him as it is.

As for the baby stroller thing you have to remember that the courts are not going to force him to parent the way that you want him to. They would probably say that if dad thinks that the stroller is not necessary then it is not. A hand carried umbrella or a coat with a hat on it is probably sufficient for a 3 year old in the courts eyes.

They just aren't going to address each and every situation for you, sorry they just don't have the time. Again pick your battles, even with yourself, pick the things that really need your time and attention otherwise you are goping to drive yourself crazy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Tue, 03-14-2006 - 11:16am

I know they are only 7 hr stretches now. Just like I know they will get longer. I wanted it because he just started seeing his dad after a 4 month period of no visits at all and sometimes when he's with at my sister's house he wants to talk to me. It's not like we have long conversations, lol. Just a minute or so. I felt it to be a good idea especially for the beginning with him getting re-acquainted with his dad. He would feel comfortable I dont even know if he talks around his dad and gf. When he isnt familar with someone he's very quiet and what makes it harder is if your not used to how he communicates it's very hard to understand him. He cant pronounce alot of letters well. Eg. when he says I got a boo-boo it sounds like he's saying he has to doo-doo. It's funny.

You would think his dad would have sense enough to make the calls on his own just to reassure the baby knowing the situation. But that's another issue all together.

As for picking my battles, I will let go of the stroller issue. It ticks me off but I dont want to seem petty or very picky. I just have to accept even though it's hard that ex is not going to make this easy and will insist on parenting different from me at all costs. God I wish it wasnt this way. At least here Im able to get out all of my frustration before court and get good info as well.

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